Pr0n Lust List 6/15

I’m often asked to explain the concept of “Shopping Pr0n”: actual pr0n could be defined as looking at sex that is displayed in a  highly stylized manner which has been made to look appealing, in order to arouse you. 

Shopping is my pr0n.  I love to look at fashion, some of which has been made to look particularly attractive and is certainly appealing to me.  “Pr0n Lust List” will be what I’m lusting at around the web.  Hopefully some of these pieces will find a “forever home” with one of you, most precious pr0n stars.

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I’ve almost bought this Juicy Sundress at Tobi more times than I care to admit.  It’s just so sunshiney and comfortable looking.

Juicy Linen Sundress, $131, Tobi.com

I love the wide straps and the empire waist with the wide sash.  So why haven’t I bought it?  One, it’s $131.  For a sundress.  Even I have my limits.

Two, I’m uncertain about how Juicy fits.  The one time I tried on their tops they were cut small in the chest and um, that’s not going to work. 

Finally I’m worried about the low back.  If the entire back of my bra is going to show, it’s a deal breaker.  If you’re pear-y, but smaller on top, consider this dress (and send pictures!)

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Julie Brown cotton/silk, "Margie" at Bluefly, $172

Speaking of dresses I shouldn’t want, but do, I’m gaga over this Julie Brown diamond print “Margie” dress at Bluefly.  It’s just so…fabulously Twiggy to me. 

Margie has a rounded neckline with a button close panel, it slips on and has 3/4 length sleeves and a cotton voile lining.  I’d like to see this on a fabulous brunette or Norweigan blonde maybe.

Sizes 2-8 with great legs can still snatch this up for $172 (and send pictures!).  Step away from the white go-go boots and try a pair of retro-stacked pumps.

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Priorities "Off-Shore" Jacket, $82, Bluefly

This Priorities jacket from Bluefly will be mine!  I love layering shorter things over longer things; it can be a really flattering style because it draws the eye up to where you’re smaller, but still lengthens (with the longer piece underneath). 

Normally I frown on one button jackets for busty girls, but because the stance (where the top “V” on the jacket) actually hits here, it’s an exception to the rule.  It’s not a classic one-button style, which are typically for petite women.

$82 is a little high…maybe I can wait until a 20% off sale rolls around.  But omg, how cute is the lining??

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Kate Spade Tarrytown Small Maedea, $???, KateSpade.com

Kate Spade is taunting me.  That’s right, they’re doing this just to hurt me personally.  They keep putting on sale their Tarrytown Small Maedea in Robbin’s Egg Blue when I don’t have money, and it’s making me cry.  Dear Kate Spade: I can has July 4th sale pleez?  Luv, Din. 

I saw the bag when it first came in and nearly cried because this bag is made for me.  For me, people!  Except that I can’t buy a $575 handbag. 

The other day it was on sale for $4something and then another 25% off, which brought it down to around $350, which is still expensive, but realistic for a really nice handbag.

I’m not getting an iPhone ’til the holidays, so this could be my birthday present! (I really can justify anything.)  Still, I wait.

Bettye Mueller "Bingo", $129 at Simply Soles

Bettye Mueller sure got it right when she named these shoes “Bingo”.  They’re on sale over at one of my favorite dream stores, SimplySoles.  $129 is a fair price for a pair of designer shoes, and a great price for a pair of Bettye Muellers.

These are just the cutest things I’ve seen.  Where else would you find a red, white and blue Madras plaid on a pair of 1.5″ kitten heels?? <3  Simply Soles has them in stock in 5.5, 6 and 9.5. 

I’m tempted to wishlist them…just in case.  But if you buy these, my little pr0n pudding, send pictures!

 

See by Chloe Daisy Rosette Dress, $347, Tobi.com

For my last lust of the week, I want to show you a dress that is so unique.  This See by Chloe Daisy Rosette dress looks like a painting. 

The combination of the simple design and the dreamy pattern make this dress a winner for somebody, and not this poor model who looks so unhappy.  What gives, Tobi?

$347 on final sale (was $695), European sizes 38 – 44, which are U.S….4-10?  I can see this on some fashion-forward beauty with dark hair and pale skin.  Or maybe a redhead! 

I played with this dress over on Polyvore (and actually if you’re a 40 or 42, you can get it for $240 on Net-A-Porter) but I’d love to see someone rock it in real life.

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Alas, if I were to share with you everything I was lusting after it would probably take up this entire blog.  But I hope you’ve enjoyed some of my favorite pr0n this week!

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As always, it was good for me.  Tell me, was it good for you?

Boobalicious Sundresses Under $50

Hi pr0nstars – My you all look lovely today.  I’m having to do a bit of retooling here at the pr0n.  When I started blogging, I did it for the love of fashion, and the love of writing.  Somewhere along the way I got ahead of myself and got burned out.  So I’m going back to my roots (so to speak, of course).  I’m not sure where that is, exactly but it may be a little different than before.  If you’d like to come with me, I’d love that.

Tommy Hilfiger Sleveless Dress - $62 @ Macys

Today, my friend P_D was writing, and she said that she was having trouble finding a sundress that was flattering for her boobages.  You know, her chesticals.  Her breasts. Being a woman of ample cleavage myself, I understood.  She didn’t want a halter or strapless, or a maxi-dress and she was trying to stay under $50.

I said: Game On.

Just out of her price range is this adorable empire waist navy sundress from Tommy Hilfiger at Macys.  Sizes go up to XL, the straps are wide enough to hide bra straps, and the elastic empire waist stops at your smallest part (emphasizing it), while giving you a little extra breathing room.

Survey says it’s cotton, machine washable and 29″ from mid-back, which is a fine length.  Pick it up today or tomorrow (June 10-11) and use code SAVEMORE at checkout, and the price comes down to between $53.25 and $50.12 – exactly in her price range.  Win!

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MaxStudio.com Flutter Sleeve Boat Neck Dress $68

One of my favorite places to look for reasonable summer dresses is MaxStudio.com .  If you hang around long enough, you can get a really good bargain on pretty, colorful, floaty dresses.  I picked out two, starting with the Flutter-Sleeve Boat Neck Dress on the left.

What I think sets this dress apart from similar styles is that the bodice isn’t elasticized; it’s actually pleated, with a tie in the back.  Again, that’s going to give you and your “girls” breathing room if you need it, and then just float away from your body.

The pattern is so pretty, and it should be a really flattering style on a variety of body types. An XL here is about a 16/18.  Check their size charts, which are pretty accurate.

MaxStudio.com - Embroidered Sheath Dress, $98

The second one is definitely out of her price range,  but maybe someone else here can give this dress a good home.

This straight A-Line style is going to look best on someone with less of a defined waist and/or more of a tummy to hide.  If you’ve got great legs, but a little more in the middle this shape will hide the bad and show the good.

I’m drooling over the rich cornflower blue, scalloped neckline (with straps which will let you wear a real bra), and embroidery detail.  At 26″ from the waist this would be perfectly appropriate for a casual office environment with a little jacket or sweater over it.

It’s only available in a Large and Extra-Large, so please – won’t you give this dress a stable, loving home in your closet?  For only pennies a day, you too can save a sundress.

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Kavu Westbay Dress, $62 @ Zappos

I included this $62 empire waist dress from Zappos.com, because it’s eco-friendly, has wide straps with bra strap stays, an elastic back, and comes in two colors: red and blue.

The size chart isn’t available, but it goes up to an XL, which I’d consider about a 16 typically.  Also Zappos has free overnight shipping on clothing, and free returns. They’re known for really good customer service.

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NY&Co. City Stretch Tiered Dress, $29.95

Diving back comfortably into P_D’s requested price range is a super comfy looking dress from NY & Co., which is the same company as Limited and Express, just a different demographic.  That means the sizing is going to be different; in this case, more generous.

Check out this pull over v-neck tiered dress. It’s got the same elastic empire waist, with cap sleeves, and hits above the knee.  Heck, I’m tempted to try this sundress myself.  For P_D I like the purple, but it also comes in orange, white and black.  Did I mention it’s on sale for $29.95?  No?  My bad.  It also comes in color-blocks for just a few bucks more.

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Smocked Scoopneck Embroidered Dress, $29.90, Ann Taylor Loft

Way back when, I predicted that cobalt blue was going to be huge this season.  I don’t want to brag or anything, but I was right.  My favorite dress may be this cobalt blue Smocked Scoopneck from Ann Taylor Loft.

The color is so pretty, and the style is so easy and comfortable for summer – at $29.99 it’s a steal.  One thing to keep in mind is that the dress is just shy of 20″ from the natural waist – short.  It’s only in a size small online, but they have a “in-store finder” online.  Good luck! Godspeed!

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C & C California jersey 'Brita' tank dress, $50.40 @Bluefly

I’ll show you one more sundress tonight.  Squeeking in at $50.40 is the C&C California breeze jersey tank dress.

This is the best type of dress – throw it on with a pair of sandals and a floppy brimmed hat (and sunscreen) and you’re out the door.  Funk it up with some cool accessories and maybe a cardigan.

Bluefly.com is selling it in several pretty shades of blue and green, including “honeydew”, shown.

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As you can see my little pr0n pickles, every body type can find something flattering at their price point, without sacrificing quality or style.  It just takes a little patience and determination.

My aces up the sleeve are TheFind.com and ShopStyle.com, which are fabulous for letting you search for a particular kind of item, by store or price or manufacturer or color.  Let your fingers do the walking! And as in all my posts, pictures link back to the product for your shopping ease.

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This was ShoppingPr0n “By Request”.  Got a problem or a question? Email me! shoppingpr0n@gmail.com.  Maybe you’ll have your very own pr0n post.

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As ever, it was good for me. Tell me, was it good for you?

Dating Fashion: Menswear in the New Millennium

It’s so good to see you again, my darling pr0n pals.  I apologize for the prolonged absence; it was unexpected, and I’ve longed to get back to you.  Here’s what’s inspired me today: last night I met up with a gentleman caller of whom I’m fond, but have not seen in quite some time.

Commes Des Garcons Degrade Sport Shirt - $445, Barney's Coop

They say you’re only as young as you feel, and while that’s true, it’s been a few years since either of us saw 30.  My gentleman caller, who is a handsome fellow, showed up wearing an Old Navy Polo, cargo shorts, and casual shoes.  It’s not the worst style that your blogger’s ever seen, but not the best, either.

In my caller’s defense, he confessed that he did not know how to dress; this is an affliction from which many a young man suffers: Fashion Challenged.  In today’s post, I’m going to answer the question:  how does one dress these days when one is courting a young lady of the new millennium?

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Sometimes I think fashion is so simple, I wonder how so many get it wrong.  But I recognize that the basics are shown, it can become second nature for all.  I’ve done a man’s semi-casual outfit once before, for Sunday brunch; the date outfit is not so different from the brunch outfit.

We’ve got the usual April heat wave here in DC, where it goes from 50 to nearly 90 inside of a week.  I know your dear blogger was caught off guard, and thanked her lucky stars her summer wardrobe was machine washable.  So for our first option, let’s cut our gentleman caller some slack and show him how to properly wear shorts when drinking with a lady.

Here are two different flat front shorts: khaki if you’re a little bit country; plaid, if you’re a little bit rock and roll.  My gentleman caller told me he shops at Old Navy, so I found these at Old Navy’s grown-up siblings: Banana Republic and J. Crew.

On top, I like to style a button down shirt, with a tee underneath; I’m a bit old-fashioned that way.

You can stay on the safe side with a solid color long sleeve – just zhoozh bit, in the words of Carson Kressley.  You don’t have to be so tucked in, and you can roll the sleeves up haphazardly; you’re learning how to dress up casual wear, and dress down work wear.

Women know the dirty little secret of fashion is that you spend time to look fantastic, so you look as if it’s taken you no time at all to look that way.

Don’t be afraid to try something a little different and show some personality.  Put a clean, well-maintained, logo t-shirt in a different color underneath the button down; humor is fine within reason.  Just make sure you are positive about your lady friend’s sense of humor.  Or try a micro-plaid or stripe with your plaid shorts.  The general rule for mixing patterns is one big, one little; one big plaid, one little plaid.

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Gordon Rush Dark Brown Leather Sandals, $135.15 at Bluefly

Few subjects in the fashion world are as controversial as the “mandal”: the man’s sandal.  Is it a do or a don’t?  In this blogger’s opinion, the problem lies not with the poor, maligned mandal, but with the feet that possess them!

Men, it’s time for your first pedicure.  Not only is it incredibly relaxing, and pleasurable, but it makes your feet look good.  Again, women’s dirty little secret is, that our tootsies don’t look this way just because of an extra X chromosome, we pay.  As should you, if your feet plan to see the light of day after March.

If I hear even one of you asking me about flip-flops, there’s no telling what I’ll do!  Flip-flops are for the beach.  When you are not on the beach you will wear a shoe.  *breathes in*  It’s okay, I’m alright, I’m not going to hurt anyone.  Yet.

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Let’s move on to long pants, which can be known as “khakis”, even when not khaki colored.  Their proper name is of course “chinos”, but lots of things which are proper will get you looked at strangely.

Observant pr0n prawns (hehehe) will note that while I put a long sleeve shirt with a short, I’ve put a short sleeve shirt with a long pant.

Of course there will be situations where both of one or the other will be necessary, depending on the weather, but playing with proportion adds interest to an outfit.

Men should not fall into the trap of buying clothing that is too big; check that your shoulder seams are actually at your shoulders.  The shirt can be a bit loose or trim, depending on the particular style – try a slimmer cut shirt if you’re a trim fellow.  It won’t make you look bigger, but buying bigger will make you look smaller.

There’s nothing necessarily wrong with a casual shoe, but it depends on the shoe.  A plain sneaker or athletic type shoe does not tell your lady guest that you have put thought into your appearance.

Puma Green Leather 'Scarred Street Low' Sneaker, $111.34 at Bluefly

A sneaker with some color and style, paired with a solid or patterned top (choose one color from the shirt for your shoes), says that you are a gentleman of some distinct joie de vivre or je ne sais quoi, and what lady would not want that?  Of course, leather is always appropriate, and a simple driving moccasin is simple, classic, and comfortable.

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A simple wardrobe of easy to mix and match pieces is what everyone should strive for. When meeting a member of the other gender, one wants to make a good impression – but perhaps not too good.  One should look attractive, color coordinated, neat, and just a smidge dressed up.  Let your clothing tell your lady friend that you have been looking forward to your outing together.

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In my next post, we’ll talk about ladies, and what to wear when their gentleman comes calling.

As always, it was good for me. Tell me; was it good for you?