Tag Archives: barney’s coop

Dating Fashion: Menswear in the New Millennium

It’s so good to see you again, my darling pr0n pals.  I apologize for the prolonged absence; it was unexpected, and I’ve longed to get back to you.  Here’s what’s inspired me today: last night I met up with a gentleman caller of whom I’m fond, but have not seen in quite some time.

Commes Des Garcons Degrade Sport Shirt - $445, Barney's Coop

Commes Des Garcons Degrade Sport Shirt - $445, Barney's Coop

They say you’re only as young as you feel, and while that’s true, it’s been a few years since either of us saw 30.  My gentleman caller, who is a handsome fellow, showed up wearing an Old Navy Polo, cargo shorts, and casual shoes.  It’s not the worst style that your blogger’s ever seen, but not the best, either.

In my caller’s defense, he confessed that he did not know how to dress; this is an affliction from which many a young man suffers: Fashion Challenged.  In today’s post, I’m going to answer the question:  how does one dress these days when one is courting a young lady of the new millennium?

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Sometimes I think fashion is so simple, I wonder how so many get it wrong.  But I recognize that the basics are shown, it can become second nature for all.  I’ve done a man’s semi-casual outfit once before, for Sunday brunch; the date outfit is not so different from the brunch outfit.

We’ve got the usual April heat wave here in DC, where it goes from 50 to nearly 90 inside of a week.  I know your dear blogger was caught off guard, and thanked her lucky stars her summer wardrobe was machine washable.  So for our first option, let’s cut our gentleman caller some slack and show him how to properly wear shorts when drinking with a lady.

Saturday Night Date - Option 1

Here are two different flat front shorts: khaki if you’re a little bit country; plaid, if you’re a little bit rock and roll.  My gentleman caller told me he shops at Old Navy, so I found these at Old Navy’s grown-up siblings: Banana Republic and J. Crew.

On top, I like to style a button down shirt, with a tee underneath; I’m a bit old-fashioned that way.

You can stay on the safe side with a solid color long sleeve – just zhoozh bit, in the words of Carson Kressley.  You don’t have to be so tucked in, and you can roll the sleeves up haphazardly; you’re learning how to dress up casual wear, and dress down work wear.

Women know the dirty little secret of fashion is that you spend time to look fantastic, so you look as if it’s taken you no time at all to look that way.

Don’t be afraid to try something a little different and show some personality.  Put a clean, well-maintained, logo t-shirt in a different color underneath the button down; humor is fine within reason.  Just make sure you are positive about your lady friend’s sense of humor.  Or try a micro-plaid or stripe with your plaid shorts.  The general rule for mixing patterns is one big, one little; one big plaid, one little plaid.

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Gordon Rush Dark Brown Leather Sandals, $135.15 at Bluefly

Gordon Rush Dark Brown Leather Sandals, $135.15 at Bluefly

Few subjects in the fashion world are as controversial as the “mandal”: the man’s sandal.  Is it a do or a don’t?  In this blogger’s opinion, the problem lies not with the poor, maligned mandal, but with the feet that possess them!

Men, it’s time for your first pedicure.  Not only is it incredibly relaxing, and pleasurable, but it makes your feet look good.  Again, women’s dirty little secret is, that our tootsies don’t look this way just because of an extra X chromosome, we pay.  As should you, if your feet plan to see the light of day after March.

If I hear even one of you asking me about flip-flops, there’s no telling what I’ll do!  Flip-flops are for the beach.  When you are not on the beach you will wear a shoe.  *breathes in*  It’s okay, I’m alright, I’m not going to hurt anyone.  Yet.

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Let’s move on to long pants, which can be known as “khakis”, even when not khaki colored.  Their proper name is of course “chinos”, but lots of things which are proper will get you looked at strangely.

Saturday Night - Option 2

Observant pr0n prawns (hehehe) will note that while I put a long sleeve shirt with a short, I’ve put a short sleeve shirt with a long pant.

Of course there will be situations where both of one or the other will be necessary, depending on the weather, but playing with proportion adds interest to an outfit.

Men should not fall into the trap of buying clothing that is too big; check that your shoulder seams are actually at your shoulders.  The shirt can be a bit loose or trim, depending on the particular style – try a slimmer cut shirt if you’re a trim fellow.  It won’t make you look bigger, but buying bigger will make you look smaller.

There’s nothing necessarily wrong with a casual shoe, but it depends on the shoe.  A plain sneaker or athletic type shoe does not tell your lady guest that you have put thought into your appearance.

Puma Green Leather 'Scarred Street Low' Sneaker, $111.34 at Bluefly

Puma Green Leather 'Scarred Street Low' Sneaker, $111.34 at Bluefly

A sneaker with some color and style, paired with a solid or patterned top (choose one color from the shirt for your shoes), says that you are a gentleman of some distinct joie de vivre or je ne sais quoi, and what lady would not want that?  Of course, leather is always appropriate, and a simple driving moccasin is simple, classic, and comfortable.

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A simple wardrobe of easy to mix and match pieces is what everyone should strive for. When meeting a member of the other gender, one wants to make a good impression – but perhaps not too good.  One should look attractive, color coordinated, neat, and just a smidge dressed up.  Let your clothing tell your lady friend that you have been looking forward to your outing together.

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In my next post, we’ll talk about ladies, and what to wear when their gentleman comes calling.

As always, it was good for me. Tell me; was it good for you?

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Sample Sale Pr0n: Navigating Sample Sales

Hi pron friends, I hope you’ve been well during our time apart.  Today in Shopping Pr0n, we’re going to discuss the “Sample Sale”: websites that are devoted just to designer extras and samples.  With patience and determination you may be able to find top designers, at deeply discounted prices; they may be new or straight off the runway, but they’re almost always in limited quantities and sizes.  Act quickly!

Jenny Dyer London Turquoise Dress

Jenny Dyer London Turquoise Dress

Even if a store is not just for sample sales, if you’re willing to risk losing a piece of clothing, or buy for next year, you may be able to get what you want drastically reduced when there are only a few sizes left.

Two of my favorite colors for Spring are cobalt blue, and turquoise – I’ve been showing them to you non-stop: in Spring Color TrendsSunday Brunch, and the Almost March Edition of Pr0n Plus.  

This turqoise Jenny Dyer dress is from Catwalk to Closet, which is designer samples and extras.  I chose it also because it’s available in UK 12-16 (US 10-14ish). 

This dress retails for £325, but is selling for £60 or about $85, for a top of the line designer dress.  Do you pay for the name with designer clothing? Sure.  But you also get outstanding fit, fabric and quality.

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Here’s my first attempt at a suit outfit.  This matching thing is harder than I thought!  I’m working with a suit by the unfortunately named Hickey Style.  It’s a tan cotton/wool twill suit, originally $1095, now $385.  The jacket is a 3-button, with flat-front pants.  It’s made in the U.S.A., and available in a smattering of regular and long sizes.

I love a man in a suit

Clearance Sale Suits

I picked out two shirts: the dark blue is $89, down from $225 at Barney’s Co-Op.  It’s cotton poplin, which is kind of a heavier weight cotton. 

With either shirt you could skip the jacket and put it with the pants and these Ted Baker perforated boots from Bluefly, or use the jacket and a pair of dark wash jeans.

I loooove a man in nice shoes, but even I fall asleep eventually looking at them, which is why I like the detail on the top and sides of these boots, size 13; they were $210 and are now $87.99.  The shirt has a small navy, white and burgundy floral pattern, and I chose a sky blue, navy and burgundy tie in a wider pattern by Moschino at Forzieri

If you keep things in the same color genre…it should work.  We’ll learn together, my little pr0n papayas!

The other shirt is a beautiful bright blue with alternating blue and purple stripes.  “Vibert” is at Bluefly; $54.39 down from $125.  I tried two ties from Hickey Style at Bluefly; a brown with white, and an orange with little green army men. :D  Men, please let me know how I did here!  Would you wear these?

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Here’s another way to wear orange: with green and brown.  This outfit ended up having almost an ethnic feel to it.  The orange and white tunic is from Tory Burch, a designer whose logo flats became so ubiquitous so quickly that every bone in my fashionista body rebelled.  Eventually more of her line came out and I was in love. 

Tory, Lily, Robert & Kate

Ethnic Casual for Spring

 Anyway,  the tunic is from Catwalk to Closet and retails for £165, but sells in a Size 6 for £65 (about $90USD).  Buy it before I do! 

With the tunic, try these Robert Rodriguez Latte Capris (or any capris) with an embroidered waistband (multiple sizes!).  Normally $275, yours for $90.89.

We’re working with orange as the main color, and accenting around it.  I didn’t intend to put the outfit together this way, but usually colors will be “in” for a season, and you’ll find lots.  The necklace is on sale for $98 at Shoptwigs; the flats are Lily Pulitzer: originally $248, now $79 at Simply Soles.  Why?  Because they’re only in brown, size 6.5.  But we could have worn them in green to match the necklace. 

Finally this cutie pie of a Kate Spade tote!  Usually $295, but at SmartBargains.com for $119.97!  You’re lucky I don’t buy totes…

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I always save my favorite for last; this set just makes me squeal with delight!  I’m such a girly girl, so anything that makes me feel that way makes me happy.  Again, every piece in this outfit just kind of came together.  Start with this Chloe (!) A-line purple skirt at Catwalk to Closet.  Pronistas, this is a £475 skirt for £99!!!! 

Iris

A girly set in yellow, green and purple

So…$130, 100% linen, French sizes 38 & 42 or US 10 & 14ish. Unbeliveable!

Choose from two blouses: the yellow is Juicy Couture: $89 down from $178 – sizes 10-14!  The white blouse is from Graham & Spencer at FunkyLaLa (funky!).  Originally $250, now $75!!  I can’t stop using exclamation marks!! 

The cute purple clutch is at Bluefly, and about half-off at $53.09.  The croc flats are Sam Edleman’s  from celebrity-fave Kitson L.A.  Once $95, now $41.

Okay – my favoritest pieces.  These adorable yellow/green sunglasses are dvb, which I actually didn’t know is Victoria Beckham’s line.  LOL. Bad Fashionista!  At £60, they’re still a fun splurge, but it’s better than £165.  Finally these pumps!  Yellow patent leather Colin Robertson, peep toe, slingback, gradiated 4″ heel for $65 at Kitson, sizes 6-10!  Are you ready for this? Originally $345!  I wish you could see how excited I am. :D

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Well!  Good deals are exhausting!  If I’m lucky, I’ll have ready for you tonight Pr0n Plus: The very best in plus size fashion.  Pr0n Plus is every Monday, my lovely pr0n addicts!

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Until then, it was good for me; tell me, was it good for you?

Pure Pr0n

It’s good to see you my little pr0n dumplings.  Did you miss me?  Say you did.  Tonight’s post is what this blog is all about: pure pr0n.  No holds barred, the best of the best of the fashion the web has to offer at any price from any designer.  The only requirement is that it gets your engine running: heart rate faster, pupils dilated, slightly flushed – the whole nine yards.  But enough talk, let’s get busy.

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I have good news, dumplings; I’m in love.  It’s true: I’m in love with a handbag.  This is via the store/site Hayden-Harnett NYC , which I’d never heard of until I read Shopahol Hangover, and really – who among us hasn’t had a fashion hangover? Amirite?

Be warned this is a slim tote. “Din?” I hear you asking, “What means this ‘slim tote’?  What are the implications for me?”  Due time, dumplings.  Due time.

What it means is that a) the handle drop is 3.5 inches.  This bag is meant to be carried jauntily in the crook of your arm. “But Din,” I hear you ask, “I can’t carry much if it’s hanging on the crook of my arm.”  Precisely, lumpkins.

This “Oryx Clutch” is meant “for a night on the town”.   At 1.5″ deep, there’s enough for a light cardigan, your cell phone, wallet, condoms (we have had this talk, haven’t we?), and perhaps a pair of slippers for when those fabulous pumps feel a wee bit less than fabulous.  $325, coincidentally ships 3/25.

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But my love is fleeting and fickle.  From the people at Simply Yours who brought you Gok Wan, comes Simply Be for plus-size clothing like this Big Button Jacket, available in (UK) sizes 14-32!

This jacket is made in machine washable, uber-soft velour and is fully lined.  Looks like 3 buttons with a tab closure on the bottom.  It’s car-coat length, so it’s hitting around mid-thigh.

The jacket comes in three colors – this is Ochre; there’s also Burnt Orange and Green, which is sort of…minty.

Let’s talk turkey £50, which Google tells me is about $72.00 these days.  Sadly, Simply Be does not ship to the U.S. yet, but I’m thinking about a Pr0n Cultural Exchange program.

If someone wants to buy from Simply Yours or Simply Be, contact me and I’ll see if I can arrange for a UK friend to ship in exchange for sexual favors my undying love and a favor to be returned later.

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But my lovely lemons cannot go naked underneath their new coats!  No no, that will not do.  And so I give you this actual vintage 60’s  red wool knit suit, courtesy of  Couture Allure.  When I say actual vintage, I mean actual vintage. There’s one of these, so if you want it – go get it.  We’ll still be here.

The chest is 40″, the waist is elasticized, so it’s 30″ not stretched out.  I would add several more inches to that in terms of actual capacity.  The sleeves are 18″ from the shoulder seam, so 3/4 length? and the top is meant to be looser than the skirt, which is 20″.

It’s 100% wool with a side zipper on the skirt.  Check out the website for actual condition information, but it’s $55.00.  Pr0n Approved.

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Now, my under size 14 pr0nistas love vintage as well, and I have something for you.  Can you say Vintage ’60’s DIOR??  Let me repeat myself VINTAGE DIOR, PEOPLE.  I’m calm – I’m calm.  This is an original Christian Dior from the 1960’s sold by Neiman Marcus.  The fabric is tobacco brown in ribbed silk (ribbed silk!)

Please look at the detail on this dress.  The darting at the bust that leads down to the side seaming.  The skirt portion hits at low waist with a pleated bow detail.  The bodice is a scoop neck with cap sleeves. *sigh*

The dress closes with a center back metal zipper and has a brown China silk lining.  It is interlined in cotton batiste for added body.”

The measurements are kind of interesting; they’re not what you typically see in sizing today.  Bust – 37″, waist 27″, hips 40″.  Shoulder to waist – 16″, shoulder to shoulder 16″.  I’m envisioning someone curvy and petite in this dress.

If you have a special occasion coming up, look no further – plunk your $450 right here.

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Why don’t we finish these outfits?  Try these green and yellow tear drop dangles from ShopTwigs.com. Or these simple yellow stone earrings, also from Shoptwigs.

The teardrops combine yellow and lime green; wear them with neutrals, wear them with anything that has either color in it, wear them with navy – just wear them!

Originally $163, they’re on sale for $82. (Makes me want to get my ears re-pierced).

The yellow stones, which are just so classic and will go with anything are 3/4″ wide with a 1″ drop, and sell for $110.

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Both these dresses cry out for a wonderful pump (Can you hear the dresses crying, Clarice?)  For the vintage red wool, I recommend simplicity and modernity, both of which you can find in these suede Bottega Veneta platform pumps.

Did I mention they were suede?  Yes, well – 4.5″ heel with a 1″ platform (remember pumpkins, that means it’s going to feel like a 3.5″ heel).

They have an almond shape toe, cone shaped heel and a molded platform and heel.  You can purchase them for $690 at Net a Porter.  Save the economy, buy Bottega Veneta!

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The Dior calls for something more delicate – Dior generally does.  One must be a lady in Dior. Once you’re out of the Dior, all bets are off – I’m just saying.  These red patent leather Jimmy Choos are all wrong but I’m showing them to you anyway.  Because it’s my blog; I can do that.

Red. Patent Leather. Mary Janes. Jimmy Choo.  Do you need to know anything else?

Fine.  Rounded toe, leather upper, leather lining.  Adjustable leather strap along vamp. 4″ heel, made in Italy

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Ah, men!  I’ve neglected you!  Unless you have a shoe fetish in which case you should be all set.

Well that was exciting.  I opened up my men’s file and found…a belt.  Fear not! I come bearing pr0n.  Feast your eyes on this Vintage by La Rosa ’60’s car coat.

This is a mint condition original car coat from the ’60’s.  Traditional collar, long sleeves with rolled cuffs and decorative buttons.

Chest width from underarm to underarm is 20″, sleeve length from shoulder to cuff is 24.5″, and length from neck to hem is 40″.

La Rosa is a vintage boutique on Haight Street in San Francisco, so if you’re nearby – stop in!  If not, head over to eLuxury.com and make sure you have $400 available, credit or debit.

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.If vintage isn’t your bag, never fear.  Barney’s Co-op is here!  I’d love to see my suitors in this Marc by Marc Jacobs Happy Face Cardigan.  Exclusively at the Co-op (man that cracks me up.  $900 clothes at a “co-op”), this light grey cotton v-neck cardigan sweater has a contrast yellow placket , two front pockets and a happy face logo over the left chest.

It’s also available in sort of a heathered gray with a contrast pink placket.  Equally cute!

Why not slip on a pair of dark jeans and these Alexander McQueen bark zip-up ankle boots, and call that special gal pal of yours to go out for a malt?

.Now it seems to me that every time I feature lingerie, my hits go up.  Maybe you all are just a bunch of pervs, but as long as you keep reading, I really don’t care.

Besides, I want to show you this handmade cami and shorts from On the Inside (via Smashing Darling):”Sassafrass” cami and “Forget Me Not Panties”.  Each are handmade in New York City, and the pantiliner is made of organic cotton.

The designer says it’s a very soft cream colored lace with pink detail.  The panties are definitely low rise, but flattering to one’s booty.

The cami has curved cups and plush, adjustable gold straps.

If you’re a small C or below and need just a bit of support rather than underwire, these pieces really look delightful.

The Cami is $35, panties are $20.  Comparable to less that anything you’d find in a good department store, and wouldn’t you rather your money go to a real person anyway?

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I’m going to show you lovelies two more pieces from On the Inside, because I stumbled across someone’s blog earlier, who was complaining that she couldn’t find a simple cotton, non-underwire bra (I swear it was complete coincidence.)

You have no idea how much I wish I would wear this organic cotton “Summersweet Bra” Mint cotton lined in cocoa with a cross-back for extra support.  The bra is $34 (which I would totally pay if I thought it would work on Olga and Helga here). Matching low-rise panties are $20.

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Okay.  Is there anything we haven’t covered (get it? covered? get it? yeah.)  Oh, crap. I promised like 12 million people skirts.

If you’ve got a little more flexibility in your wardrobe, or just want a cute skirt, check out this classic Collectif pencil skirt.  It’s meant to be worn slightly low-rise and it comes in baby-blue, pale pink and lovely lemon yellow.

It’s available in UK sizes 8 – 20 and they do ship to the U.S. and Europe.  Only two left in this particular style and it’s £10 . Check out the rest of their selection to make shipping costs worthwhile.

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For a more classic skirt with a more classic fit, over at ShopBop I found this purple crepe skirt by Black Halo.  It has rounded pockets at the hip with button flap detail, a hidden back zipper and notch at the back waistband (perhaps for a better fit?).  It’s 23″ long, made in the U.S.A., sizes 0-10 for $230.

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.Rounding out tonight’s catch is this cute as a button “Shorthand” skirt, back at Smashing Darling .

White cotton denim with a front tab with buttons that cover a zipper.

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This is by designer Laura Dawson…annnnnd I don’t have any manufacturing information.  $50 – currently available xs – m, which the site tells me is going to run a little small.   I’m calling it 0-8, even though they say 2-10.

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Last one for tonight, and then I leave you.

If any of you are truly and I mean really and truly fashion forward, then I have a gem of a skirt for you.

High waisted, black skirt, with gathers going down the front and sides. 100% cotton, machine washable. by Zeto Clothing.

“Zeto pays utmost attention to detail – using only the highest quality original fabrics, custom-dyes, light weight inks, and in-house artwork to punctuate each piece of clothing”.  $88, with more specific styling details at the website.

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My most precious pr0ners, good night good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night ’til it be morrow.

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Once again – it was good for me; tell me, was it good for you?

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