Tag Archives: simply be

How to Shop For Your Body Type: The Pear

Pr0n pals, I’m really excited about today’s post.  One of my strengths is being able to see what clothing styles work on different body types; it’s something I’ve worked at, rather than springing from Pr0n Mom’s womb the fashionista I am today.  So I was thrilled when my friend Rebecca wrote to me and said she was fashion challenged for her body type.

Meet Rebecca

Meet Rebecca

Rebecca is pretty normal: average to plus size figure, young, married with a young child, and doesn’t have tons of money to spend but deserves to look her best.  She’s just a little style challenged.  Today’s post promises to be full of fashion tips, do’s and don’ts, and really down-to-earth advice about buying clothing and putting together outfits that you’ll enjoy.  Let’s meet Rebecca.

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If there was ever a pear shape, Rebecca’s it.  She’s 5’7″,  and according to her measurements wears about a 14 on top and an 18 on bottom. She doesn’t have a very defined waist and she carries a lot of her weight in her hips.  I doubt you’d call Rebecca plus sized if you met her; just curvy.

Rebecca Now

Rebecca Now

But  when Rebecca told me she didn’t know how to dress, she wasn’t kidding.  This is more or less the outfit she was wearing in the picture she sent me.

I don’t know very many people who can wear well horizontal stripes.  Her top was too long, shapeless, and made her look wider than she is.  Her jeans just didn’t fit well and didn’t flatter.

That’s just a bad dream from now on; what Rebecca or other pear shapes should achieve with her clothing is learning to minimize her hips, bringing the rest of her body into proportion, and creating a long, lean silhouette by using clothing shape and color to her advantage. Fashion is 50% architecture, 50% art.

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Pear Shape Dress

Pear Shape Dress

The first virtual outfit I used is so simple and perfect for pear shapes, you’ll wonder why you never tried it.  This is a scoop neck sheath dress in a solid color, with a wide waistband, and a hem that hits just above the knee.

Immediately, Rebecca looks four inches taller and 20 pounds thinner!  The open neckline on the dress helps to balance her hips and chest, while the monochrome color and sheath glide over her hips so your eye doesn’t focus there.  The really critical piece is the dress’ hemline.  If the hemline were much higher it wouldn’t look age appropriate, any lower and the dress will make her body look short and dumpy.

Nine West Short Sleeve Plus Size Dress, $83.40 at Macy's

Nine West Short Sleeve Plus Size Dress, $83.40 at Macy's

In real life I found this adorable Nine West dress at Macy’s.  If she buys a 1x she may need to have the top taken in a bit – such is life as a pear shape, because you need to fit the widest part of you – your bottom  half.  But what I like is that the dress is youthful, and it’s definitely going to fit because the skirt is an A-line – it has an A shape rather than going straigt down.  Pair the dress with heels and a fun colored bag.

I’ve shown virtually here a sweater option for pears to wear over a dress.  Notice how short the sweater is.  I’m stopping the cardigan at her smallest part (above the waist)in order to emphasize it. If you’re a pair shape and you wear a regular length cardigan over an outfit, make sure it’s fitted and stops at the top of the hip.
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Pear Shape Jeans Outfit

Pear Shape Jeans Outfit

Virtual Pear Shape Outfit #2 is a basic jeans and t-shirt look; I forgot to give her shoes. :(

What pears need to look for here are shirts that stop at the hip, that show your curves rather than hide it, jeans with a straight wider leg to balance your lower body and a waistband that stops at your widest part.

Any piece of clothing that goes over your hips will emphasize them; it may seem counter intuitive, but by stopping things at your widest part you trick the eye, which is exactly what you want as someone who is bottom heavy.

The same concept applies with jeans – if your widest part is your hips, that’s where your waistband should go; usually just below your belly button.  If you go with jeans that stop above your widest part, rather than emphasizing your small waist, it makes your hips look larger.

Most jeans styles have a “bootcut” or a “flare” leg.  Pear shapes should for a pair of jeans with “trouser” style or “wide leg” if you can.  If you can’t, look for a pair that have a minimum of tapering at the knee.  The more you taper, the more you emphasize what’s above and below.

Here are some reasonably priced real life options for this type of jean/t-shirt pear outfit.

Spring Casual for a Pear

Spring Casual for a Pear

Spring Casual for a Pear by din2quared featuring Old Navy jackets

Again, this is a really simple outfit to pull together, mix and match and add to with clothing from your closet.  It can be dressed up or down with a few changes, so it will take you from the grocery store out to dinner.

Both t-shirts are from the Gap – the one on top has a strong color and an open neckline to be the primary focus, and then I layered a plain gray long sleeve t with a slightly more open crew neck under it.  Crew necks that are right up against the neck will make you look bustier.

The jeans are a drawstring trouser from Old Navy.  Rebecca appeared to be in between sizes, so a drawstring jean could help avoid a tailoring charge (jeans can be tailored!).  Just be careful not to go for an elastic waistband on pants; it may seem like an easy fix, but elastic waistbands don’t flatter anyone.

These jeans are more lightweight; for a a dressier look, choose a heavier, darker trouser jean.

I’ve pulled together the outfit with an adorable tote bag on sale at Luna Boston, a trench coat from Old Navy and Cole Haan Wedges at Zappos. A tote bag, trench coat and comfy flats are three accessories that will take you everywhere

The Cole-Haan wedge shoes are the splurge item here at over $100, but as I’ve said before don’t skimp on shoes.  Cheap shoes won’t last, they won’t support your feet, ankles, hips or knees and you’ll wind up spending the same amount of money on several pairs versus one.  Cole Haan has an entire line that’s made with Nike Air technology.  Looks like a pump, feels like a sneaker.

I created two more virtual pear style outfit variations: one good, one bad.  Look what happens if you pair dressy jeans and the tote with a cute blouse for casual Friday or dinner with friends here.  On the other hand, look what happens if you put a pear shape in an over-sized, too long top.

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Pear Shape Date Outfit

Pear Shape Date Outfit

This is one more outfit type option for Rebecca or any of you pear shapes out there.

What’s funny is that I put this outfit together right after I bought my dress, and the two dresses are very similar styles.  Several things are working together to slim and balance; if you look carefully you can see that there’s actually a wide waistband that starts just higher than her natural waist  – this draws the eye up, and the slightly rounded shape of the skirt hides the hips. But by wearing a dress, all one piece, the effect is not to break up the body, which is almost always slimming.

Continuing the monochromatic theme, she’s wearing black tights with black heels, and then I kept all her accessories within the same color family: (Ish. i didn’t have tons to work with.) A red wrap, a red necklace, and a burgundy clutch.

Donna Ricco Sleeveless Bubble Dress, $178 @Nordstrom

Donna Ricco Sleeveless Bubble Dress, $178 @Nordstrom

For a similar dress look, try this Donna Ricco bubble dress from Nordstrom.  It’s a little fancier than what I showed, but it’ll be a classic wardrobe addition.

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None of these styles are terribly complicated once you understand your body and its proportions.  Bring a digital camera with you shopping and take pictures of outfits, or do it when you get home.  Once you start working with some basic structure, you’ll understand what clothes do to your body, and gain more confidence.

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I’m always happy to answer questions, and I’m always happy to help if you’ve got a particular figure you have trouble dressing.  Drop me a comment, or an email: shoppingpr0n@gmail.com . :)  And don’t forget, if you’re looking for plus size clothes, Shopping Pr0n readers get 20% off at Simply Yours and Simply Be through this special sales code.

Please let me know if this helped you – I love feedback!

Until next time, my little pr0n pastrami.  It was good for me; tell me, was it good for you?

Digg!

Exclusive! 20% off Plus Size Fashion & Lingerie

Pr0nsters, have you ever thought to yourself, “I’m special. I deserve special things just for me?”  If so, your time has come. Because you’re all special, I have an exclusive sales code worth 20% off at Simply Yours and Simply Be.

If you’re new to the Pr0n, or need a refresher Simply Yours is a fantastic UK site for plus size lingerie and shapewear, featuring the really gorgeous stuff by Gok Wan.  Simply Be is the clothing and accessories end of the bizzness: they’re the  lovely people who gave us a sneak peek at their Spring clothing line.

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Beach2Beach Underwired Swimsuit, 27.20

Beach2Beach Underwired Swimsuit, £27.20/$39.36

What haven’t I shown you yet?  How about a dreamy retro-styled underwire swimsuit?

Not only is this Beach2Beach swimsuit available in red and black in a huge range of back/cup sizes, but it can be worn as a halter or a bandeau!  I think that is the coolest thing ever.  Then again I’m easily impressed.

When you get to checkout, enter KLUY4 for 20% off! (Price I show includes discount).  The site may offer you 10% off for being a new customer do not put this code in your bag, put our code in intead. :)

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Footwear!  I didn’t even realize they sold footwear (clearly I don’t look very closely), but my pal Charlotte tells me that our code is good on clothing, lingerie/shapewear and footwear (probably accessories, too).

Viva La Diva Peep Toe Pump 24

Viva La Diva Peep Toe Pump £24/$34.75

I swear I will not show you patent leather shoes today!  Really.  Okay, I lied.  But you have to see these Viva La Diva taupe faux patent leather booties.

The heel is three and a quarter inches with a peep toe,  and they go up to a EEE Width!  Pop these puppies in your cart, take 20% off with code KLUY4 and pay only $35!!  Wow!

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Remember when I was talking about trenchcoats (You do remember)? Well, if you’re in the market for an adorable versatile trench, feast your eyes on this Mac with Pocket detail.

Mac with Pocket Detail, 46.40/

Mac with Pocket Detail, £46.40/$67.21

The jacket is cotton/nylon, with a nylon lining, it’s 36″ long, sells in black and ivory and has the cutest little ruching on the pockets.

According to Simply Be it’s a best seller, so if you want this, act fast!  Like all their products, it’s available in sizes 14-32.  I need something like this.  *pouts*

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Let’s look at lingerie.  I’m such a brand junkie, always showing you the Gok Wan.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but there’s more to Simply Yours than just Gok!  For instance they sell bras from sizes 30A to 50 JJ!  If you’ve got boobs, they’ve got bras!  They also have fantastic bra fit advice & videos.  Most women wear the wrong bra – are you one of them?

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Dreamgirl Babydoll, 30.40

Dreamgirl Babydoll, 30.40

You’re sure to spend your money wisely if you spend it on Dreamgirl’s Babydoll & matching thong.  That’s some hot stuff right there.

The baby doll is actually a mesh underwired halter with front lace-up and ruffle detailing; I love that most of the lingerie and shapewear and swimwear pieces on Simply Yours are underwire.

Even those of us who are not plus-size, but are…amply endowed *cough* would like for our bust line to be front and center, please and thank you.  I’m just saying.

Let’s talk Gok Wan.  Why? Because we like him. With 20% off (Code KLUY4), I’m eyeing some shapewear.  This winter was not kind to your blogger, and she could use some, er, shaping.  Celebrities’ dirty little secret is that they wear this sort of thing all the time. And then get photoshopped.  But shapewear!

I don’t think I’ve shown you Gok Wan’s Sassy Slip.  It’s sassy!  It’s also gorgeous.  What you’re getting is a mid-thigh length full shaping slip, with attached underwire bra, and internal suspenders which attach to stockings (not included).

Gok Wan's Sassy Slip, 44/$63.67

Gok Wan's Sassy Slip, £44/$63.67

I want the Passion color (shown) even though it would show under most of my spring summer dresses.  I don’t care.

The size range for Sassy is from a 30-32 C -G, 34-40G, 42-44 A-E and 46A-C (If you don’t see your size, it’s possible they’re out of it.  Call and ask.)

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Frill Front Jersey Top, 20/$28.97
Frill Front Jersey Top, 20/$28.97

Don’t hesitate when you see Simply Be’s Frill Front Top.  Put it in your cart and use code KLUY4 for 25% off.

What’s great about pieces like this that are casual with special detail is that they can be dressed up – under a suit – or down, with a pair of jeans.

If you’re going to spend money on t-shirts, make it shirts like this that have interest and thought behind them.  I wish they came in more colors than black and cream, but you can’t go wrong with either of those.

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We’re at the end my little pr0n pistachios. The “Oh, By the Way” Gods have insisted I let you know

  1. The sales code, KLUY4, is good through April 15,
  2. They don’t deliver to the U.S. yet, just the U.K. and Europe.  If you’re interested in buying and live in the U.S email me: shoppingpr0n@gmail.com, and I’ll see if I can help you.
  3. There is no pay for play on Shopping Pr0n.  You people must be buying from there, because Charlotte keeps sending us things.  Keep up the good work!

I’ve got one more super post I’m working on: how to dress for your body type, which will be the first in a series.  The first one will be on pear shapes and I hope to have it finished tonight or tomorrow.  Stay tuned!

Until then, it was good for me; tell me, was it good for you?

Pr0n Plus: Spring Basics Edition

La Canadienne Stella, $225.68

La Canadienne Stella, $225.68 at Zappos

Happy Spring, Northern Hemisphere!  I’m afraid this blog is a bit Northern-Hemisphere-centric.  I’m a day late with this week’s Pr0n Plus, but I think it’s a good one.  In today’s Shopping Pr0n, we’re going to look at spring wardrobe basics. 

I’ll be showing plus size styles, but these are items which should and can go in anyone’s closet: a spring coat, a cotton shirt, pants, sweater, a day dress, and some cute comfy shoes.

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The first thing everyone needs for spring is a raincoat.  You can sing “Rain rain go away” to your heart’s content, but it doesn’t seem to do much good. 

Standing Collar Trench, $54.99 at Target

Standing Collar Trench, $54.99 at Target

Pears/Hourglasses and apples have different needs for coats.  (How do you know if you’re a pear or an apple?  Do you have a defined waist?  No?  You’re an apple. 

Do you have Bette Davis eyes thighs?  You’re a pear.) When buying coats, a pear actually doesn’t necessarily want to define a waist. 

Look at this classic belted trenchcoat from Target.  Yes, Target.  For a pear or hourglass is that once you cinch the belt, it over-emphasizes what’s happening down below, and you look lumpy and heavier than you are.  

For an apple, this helps define what you don’t have much of.  Since there’s less inch difference beween chest, waist and butt, the belt will emphasize, not over-emphasize.

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Pears (for the rest of this post, just extend pear advice to hourglasses), try something like this fun “Rainy Day Mac” from Boden. 

Rainy Day Mac, $138 at Boden

Rainy Day Mac, $138 at Boden

Don’t worry about your waist – it’s not going anywhere.  The key is to deemphasize the “booty area” (it’s a technical term).

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 By wearing something that doesn’t chop you off in the middle, you look sleek and svelte.  Boden goes up to a UK size 20 (US 18ish), and they have this style in a few other patterns. 

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What I love about Boden’s website is that they show you how much stock they have left for each color and size.
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Working from the outside in, you’re going to want a day dress: something you can dress up for work, and dress down on the weekend.  I love this tie-back dress from Donna Ricco. 
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Donna Ricco Tie Back Dress, $168

Donna Ricco Tie Back Dress, $168

Big prints are great for plus-sizes; it’s a matter of proportion.  Also, this type of tie-back, or similar wrap-dress is going to flatter lots of body types. 

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Not everyone has a small waist, but the smallest part of every woman’s body is almost always under her bust.  Add an adjustable top to an empire waist and it’s genius. 
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Remember that you can always put a cami on underneath if there’s too much boobage (also a technical term).
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Every woman must must must (must) have in her closet a simple button down shirt, a pair of casual pants, and a colorful cardigan.

Gap Dobby Striped Roll-Up Shirt, $48

Gap Dobby Striped Roll-Up Shirt, $48

These three pieces can be mixed and matched with nearly everything else in your closet, will never go out of fashion, and can be bought nearly anywhere to suit your individual style.

Simply Be Combat Pants, 32p

Simply Be Combat Pants, 32p

I’ve chosen a white cotton roll-up shirt from the Gap, a pair of pants from Simply Be, and a cardigan from Pink Marzipan. 

The Gap has practically made its name on basics like this; their XXL is a size 18 or 20.  J. Crew goes up to a 16 on many products, as does Banana Republic. 

PAS Knitted Cardigan In China Blue- Poro, 64p

PAS Knitted Cardigan In China Blue- Poro, 64p

For a lower price point, try Macy’s or Target or H&M.  Oh!  This summer (I think), Forever21 is coming out with a plus size line.  Yay!  Hopefully it will be the same kind of “knock-off trendy” as the original.

One point about this style of cardigan/sweater: it has the potential to be very cute on both apples and pears, but pears have to be careful.

If it doesn’t look right, it’ll wind up making you look pregnant.  If it does look right, it’ll look cute and flowy.  I’m a pear and I bought similar a few weeks ago, but the style rarely works on me.

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It is my sincere belief that every woman should own at least one pair of red shoes.  These Vaneli flats are very similar to a pair of Eccos I splurged on and have never regretted. 

Vaneli Indo Flat, $54.97 at Endless

Vaneli Indo Flat, $54.97 at Endless

They’ve got a slight heel (much better for you than plain flats), and cushy, flexible rubber soles.  You’ll get compliments on them nearly every time you wear them.  Dinsquared guaranteed.

These puppies are on clearance for $54 and change at Endless. com, and they’re still available in lots  of narrow and wide sizes up to a 10. 

You need a pair of shoes that aren’t sneakers that are still comfortable to walk around in: to a friend’s house, to lunch, to the mall.  I can wear my Eccos for hours.; these Vaneli’s look pretty comfy, too.

Jimmy Choo "Clue" at Nordstrom

Jimmy Choo "Clue" at Nordstrom

By the way, did you know that Jimmy Choo’s go up to a size 11.5/12?  I certainly didn’t. 
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Jimmy Choo’s really don’t have anything specific to do with spring, but they’re fabulous and come in a large size, so I’m showing them to you.  Aren’t they fabulous?
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That’s all the time we have together today my little pr0n popcorn.  I have more post ideas than I have time to do them all. 

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I hope to bring you a post on women’s suits, a series dressing for your body type, a series on how to make a wardrobe out of your closet, a post on coats…oy!  Please stay with me, won’t you?
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Until next time, it was good for me; tell me, was it good for you?

Shopping Pr0n Exclusive: Spring at SimplyBe!

SimplyBe Plus Size Dress: Juan4

Juan 4?

Welcome to March, pr0n darlings!  I’ve hated to be away from you but I promise it will be worth it.  This is a very special edition of Pr0n Plus; Shopping Pr0n has been given an exclusive (I think) sneak preview of the new plus-size women’s Spring line at SimplyBe.  Everything at SimplyBe comes in sizes 14-32! Remember that plus size black and white ruffle dress from SimplyBe I showed you two weeks ago in Pr0n Plus?

Our good friend Charlotte from Gok Wan (maker of fine plus-size shapewear) wrote to me the other day with pictures from their new Spring clothing trends.  Please take a moment to check out their press release.

Until the line at SimplyBe goes live on Friday, you’ll only see these pictures here (probably)!!!

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This little hottie is from the Bohemian Boutique collection, but I’ve never seen a Bohemian that looked like this!  I told you in last week’s Pr0n Plus that a cobalt blue was going to be one of the “it” colors this spring and I’m right!  (I love being right!)

I see a scoop neck ruffle tiered dress that goes to about mid thigh, with straps wide enough to hide your bra (or Gok Wan shapewear.  Just saying!).  The styling here is adorable – black tights and a black pump or Mary Jane.  But you could also wear it with a pair of dressy sandals.

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SimplyBe Plus Size Fuschia Dress: Bohemian Boutique

SimplyBe Plus Size Fuchsia Dress: Bohemian Boutique

Also in Bohemian Boutique is this smokin’ little fuchsia number.  It’s also coming up as “Juan 4″…sooo I’m thinking that’s wrong. :)  Just call it  ‘That Hot Fuchsia Dress’ until Friday.

SimplyBe Plus Size Double Belt

SimplyBe Plus Size Double Belt

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This is definitely more tunic-y to me.  I might be a bit fashion forward and pair it with this awesome double belt from the Homespun series, and maybe a pair of skinny jeans.

Plus sizes can wear skinny jeans, but they’re relegated to the more apple-y shaped.  Pears need to stick to a straight/boot-cut/wide leg jean to balance our booties.

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SimplyBe Plus Size Long V-Neck Cardigan

SimplyBe Plus Size Long V-Neck Cardigan

You could also use the belt with this comfy looking oversized blue v-neck cardigan.  I can’t tell if it’s a long sleeve or a 3/4 length, but this is a cardi that’s long enough to be warn by itself over leggings or jeans, or a casual skirt if it’s long enough.

I love the cornflower blue color, which is so flattering, and the the front pockets I think I’m seeing.  Throw a long sleeve T-shirt under this to go causal, or a silky cami to dress it up!

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SimplyBe Plus Size "Homespun" Patchwork Tee

SimplyBe Plus Size "Homespun" Patchwork Tee

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Back to you pears and hourglasses – this long tee/tunic is adorably bohemian, even though it’s part of the Homespun series.  It’s so very flower-child in red and blue patchwork.

It’s with jeans in this picture, but why not wear it with a pair of long shorts and Grecian flat sandals?

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SimplyBe "Homespun" Fringe Hobo

SimplyBe "Homespun" Fringe Hobo

By the way, the handbag the model is carrying here is so totally part of the collection.  Release your inner ’70s chick with this tan hobo with fringe, grommets and an outside pocket.

Simply Be Mexican Sunrise Butterfly Dress

Simply Be Mexican Sunset Butterfly Dress

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Oh!  I’m completely neglecting Mexican Sunset. Poor Mexican Sunset!  How could I ignore this butterfly dress?

Multi-colored butterflies are scattered around a slouchy black short sleeved dress, and then repeated in a mini-butterfly pattern on the bottom hem.

This has got to be one of my favorites.  It’s going to be flattering on a variety of plus-size body shapes and you can wear it with one of these wide bangles and a bunch of really skinny ones.

Mexican Sunset Wide Bangles

Mexican Sunset Wide Bangles

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Mexican Sunset Flower Dress

Mexican Sunset Flower Dress

Okay, two more of my favs!  From the Mexican Sunset collection, this lovely black chiffon dress with a big orange and flower on the side.  This is so feminine and so summery, with the flutter sleeves and deep neckline.

It’s more for a curvy pear/hourglass shape because of how it skims the body.  Apples want shapes that flow more away from the body, especially around the waistline.  What they don’t know can’t hurt them, right? :)

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Homespun Embroidered Elastic Waist Top

Homespun Embroidered Elastic Waist Top

Finally I want you to see this long white top.  It’s embroidered with blue and red around the scoop neck, and front pockets, and has an elasticized red empire waist.  It’s suitable for all body types, and patriotic in lots of countries!

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My sincere thanks to Char for the scoop.  Let’s all head over on Friday and give them a little Shopping Pr0n love.  We’re lucky to have such a wide variety of thoughtfully designed plus-size clothing.

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Until next time, it was good for me; tell me, was it good for you?

(FYI, there is no “pay for play” here on Shopping Pr0n! If I feature something, it’s because I really and truly like it. I get no kickbacks other than basking in the glow of your love. )
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Pr0n Plus: Presidents’ Day Edition

Welcome to another edition of Pr0n Plus.  It’s a pr0n packed post, so let’s dive right in.  In this week’s edition, I’m going to show you a stunning pair of handmade vegetarian pumps up to a size 11,  plus size bikinis from Type Z,  and a Rockabilly trousers/sweater combo – just to name a few!

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Did I mention a stunning pair of handmade vegetarian pumps? Would I lie to you? Sui Generis is an offshoot of brand Beyond Skin.  Both lines are exquisite, ethical footwear; the company is based out of, and makes their shoes in the UK.

These are made out of hemp with a man-made sole and faux patent metallic piping and a 4″ heel.  Beyond Skins’ packaging is recycled or made from sustainable materials, and vegetable based ink.  A percentage of the company’s profits go to ethical charities.

If you have an extra $645.95 to throw at a pair of shoes, Endless.com will throw in free shipping.  And if you do, send pictures!

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I feel a bit bad (not that bad) for starting off with $600 shoes; as an apology, I’ve brought you tan patent leather button nose pumps from Type Z.  Also in a 4″ heel, you can have these in a slightly less ethical tan or black patent leather, and brown or red leather.

These cuties have a lightly padded footbed and white contrast stitching; they may run about 1/2 a size larger than marked, which is nice since they go up to a size 10W, so that’s like a 10.5, right? Sort of like Daylight Savings time in a shoe.

They’re available with free shipping at Zappos.com.

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Interestingly, the next item is also from Type Z.  I have two (technically 3) adorable bikinis for you, also at Zappos.  I’ll see what I can find out about the brand for you next time, my little pr0n pumpkins.

What I love about these styles are halter tops, the moderate seat coverage, and the overall styling. It’s so hard to find plus sized swimwear that’s youthful!  The first one is in solid navy (always flattering), sizes 16 and 24; it’s also available in non-plus sizes, XS, M and Large.

Unfortunately it is sold as a set, rather than as separates, so you have to be the same size on top and bottom. Fortunately, the top has adjustable strap, and it’s $75 with free overnight shipping.

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The other style looks the same, but is slightly different.  Sarah comes in a red floral, and an orange multi-stripe. Both the back and neck are adjustable, and the bottom has a low rise (it’s shorter from crotch to waist.  I dislike that word: ‘crotch’.) and moderate seat coverage.

It’s a shame that the plus size version of this is more than the under-14 sizes (Two way adjustable straps? Really? Hmm…), but it’s less than a $4.00 difference.  Sizes 16-18 are $71.10, still with free overnight shipping.


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You know what else is red?  These “Greta” lipstick red wide leg trousers from Collectif, which has tons of vintage, retro and rockabilly clothing in a wide range of sizes.

They do have a tendency to run out of sizes, but the good news is that means the products aren’t mass produced!  You can always email them to find out when and if a particular product is coming back in stock (and they do).

Currently they have an 8 & 10 in black, and um…no red. :( But I wanted you to see them anyway, because I never show you lovely pr0n people trousers and they will come back in stock. This is a UK store, and most products go up to a UK 20 or 22, so a U.S. 18-20ish.

Greta is £40 or about $58 USD, they’re showing it with the “Jo” cardigan – so cute in a round neck black sweater, with red cherry appliques on both sides! £30, or about $43, U.S.  Collectif will ship worldwide, starting at £8 or about $11.50.  Come back soon Greta and Jo (please?) !

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While you wait, how a about this Frill Front Contrast Skirt Dress over at SimplyBe? I love this concept: a dress that looks like a skirt and a dress; black on the bottom, and a ruffled white sleeveless top with black buttons running down the front.

Even better, this is 100% cotton and machine washable.  The skirt has front pleats, hits just above the knee, and stops around your natural waist – maybe a drop higher.

This should be a very forgiving and flattering style. Whether you’re straight or curvy, this dress should work pretty well on you.  It’s particularly good if you’re too curvy to normally wear skirts (like your dear blogger) but love the look). Oh, the skirt has 4% elastyne in it for stretch, and the whole thing can be yours for £40 or about $58. A total steal!

Just a reminder that Simply Be does not ship to the U.S. yet, so if you need this in sizes 14-32, make friends with someone here or elsewhere in the U.K. They don’t bite unless you ask. :)

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If you need a dress and have a little more money to invest, check out this black 100% wool David Meister belted jersey sheath dress.   Classic dresses don’t get much better than this: pleated scoop neckline, wool jersey sheath dress, with a skinny patent leather belt at your natural waist and cap sleeves.

It’s 43.5″ from shoulder to hem, and form-fitting at the bust and hip.  This is just such a perfect way to show off your figure at work or at night; it will last you for years.

As I said, this is an investment in your wardrobe, but Nordstrom guarantees their price, and will match anyone else’s. Nordy’s generally has A+ customer service! Plus if you shop there they sometimes have a live piano player.  I’m just saying.

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Lucky for you, I found a very similar style for less than half the price back at Zappos.com (Aren’t you lucky?). Lee by Serena is a 100% cotton dress with white contrast stitching and front skirt pleats.

The seaming is going to create the illusion of curves if you don’t have them, the pleats will give the skirt a little style and shape, and the back pleat is great for moving and sitting…which most people like to do.


The Serena is 1/2″ longer than the David Meister and hand washable (since it’s cotton). At $83 with free overnight shipping it’s not a bad alternative in the least.   Any tailor could give this a quick nip, tuck and hem if you find the fit isn’t quite what you’d like, and it would still be less than $258.  But I think it’s interesting to compare the two and see what a $100 dress looks like versus a $250 dress.

I think the David Meister is still probably overpriced, but keep in mind the styling and the fabric.  That’s why I always say that pr0n is about quality, fabric and fit. (I really do say that!) Also check out the iGigi.com – their Gabriella Contrast Trim dress has a similar feel.

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Technically, Torrid is the plus-size little sister to Hot Topic, and the quality isn’t as high as I usually like.  But I really liked their pants when I was plus-size for one very specific reason – they’re low-rise.

Because they’re a “junior cut”, if you carry your weight in your lower body and don’t need the tummy room that most plus-size pants have, Torrid might be a godsend for you, as they were for me. They were practically the only pants I could wear at the time.

Sometimes pr0n is getting what you need, and that’s these super wide leg gray cuffed trousers.  They’ve got two front pockets, belt loops, cuffed hems, and 5% spandex.  They should hit around your hip.  If that’s the widest part of you, that’s where your pants should hit.  Any higher and they’re going to make you look wider.  So: $52, machine washable, sizes 12 (also helpful)-26


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Is it me or has this post been lacking in color? Let’s change that with a pop of color in a sheer summer pink Berto shirt from PAS (the same people who made that hott dress from last week) at Pink Marzipan.

The shirt is sheer (duh), so you’ll need a cami underneath it (just like in the pic), but it’s a fun way to play with an outfit.  It’s nice that the shirt is machine washable (delicate cycle in a wash-bag), even though it’s 40% silk (60% polyester).

You could put this under a suit, or with a cotton skirt; it’s collared with a front buttons to just past the empire waist, princess seams, which are going to help create a waist, and it measures 26.5″ from shoulder to hem.

Pink Marzipan is selling this for £60, or about $86 USD, which is a little pricey, but a really nice shirt that will go with everything.  In the UK shipping is free (for this item) and it appears they ship at least to some places internationally.

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This last picture goes out to my pal LaynieLink, who loves tights.  WeLoveColors.com is a site that only sells plus-sized tights! Every color and pattern in the rainbow is available here in lots of different types of tights: footless, cotton/lycra, colored fishnet, and on and on.

Call me crazy, but I’m in love with these Zig Zag Checkerboard tights.  While these are a “one-size”, most of the tights are sold in sizes A (4’11”-5’5″ 160-22o lbs) -EE (5’5″-6’0; 320-375 lbs).  Solids are more than appropriate for work; rock out the splash or other patterns with a simple outfit on the weekends (and send me pictures!)

They also sell stuff for men and children, and other accessories (gloves, arm warmers, socks), mostly around $12-18.00.

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There you have it, lovely pr0n watchers! I hope there was something for everyone in this post. I love comments, and I do take requests, so speak up!

Until then, it was good for me; tell me, was it good for you?



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Pure Pr0n

It’s good to see you my little pr0n dumplings.  Did you miss me?  Say you did.  Tonight’s post is what this blog is all about: pure pr0n.  No holds barred, the best of the best of the fashion the web has to offer at any price from any designer.  The only requirement is that it gets your engine running: heart rate faster, pupils dilated, slightly flushed – the whole nine yards.  But enough talk, let’s get busy.

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I have good news, dumplings; I’m in love.  It’s true: I’m in love with a handbag.  This is via the store/site Hayden-Harnett NYC , which I’d never heard of until I read Shopahol Hangover, and really – who among us hasn’t had a fashion hangover? Amirite?

Be warned this is a slim tote. “Din?” I hear you asking, “What means this ‘slim tote’?  What are the implications for me?”  Due time, dumplings.  Due time.

What it means is that a) the handle drop is 3.5 inches.  This bag is meant to be carried jauntily in the crook of your arm. “But Din,” I hear you ask, “I can’t carry much if it’s hanging on the crook of my arm.”  Precisely, lumpkins.

This “Oryx Clutch” is meant “for a night on the town”.   At 1.5″ deep, there’s enough for a light cardigan, your cell phone, wallet, condoms (we have had this talk, haven’t we?), and perhaps a pair of slippers for when those fabulous pumps feel a wee bit less than fabulous.  $325, coincidentally ships 3/25.

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But my love is fleeting and fickle.  From the people at Simply Yours who brought you Gok Wan, comes Simply Be for plus-size clothing like this Big Button Jacket, available in (UK) sizes 14-32!

This jacket is made in machine washable, uber-soft velour and is fully lined.  Looks like 3 buttons with a tab closure on the bottom.  It’s car-coat length, so it’s hitting around mid-thigh.

The jacket comes in three colors – this is Ochre; there’s also Burnt Orange and Green, which is sort of…minty.

Let’s talk turkey £50, which Google tells me is about $72.00 these days.  Sadly, Simply Be does not ship to the U.S. yet, but I’m thinking about a Pr0n Cultural Exchange program.

If someone wants to buy from Simply Yours or Simply Be, contact me and I’ll see if I can arrange for a UK friend to ship in exchange for sexual favors my undying love and a favor to be returned later.

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But my lovely lemons cannot go naked underneath their new coats!  No no, that will not do.  And so I give you this actual vintage 60’s  red wool knit suit, courtesy of  Couture Allure.  When I say actual vintage, I mean actual vintage. There’s one of these, so if you want it – go get it.  We’ll still be here.

The chest is 40″, the waist is elasticized, so it’s 30″ not stretched out.  I would add several more inches to that in terms of actual capacity.  The sleeves are 18″ from the shoulder seam, so 3/4 length? and the top is meant to be looser than the skirt, which is 20″.

It’s 100% wool with a side zipper on the skirt.  Check out the website for actual condition information, but it’s $55.00.  Pr0n Approved.

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Now, my under size 14 pr0nistas love vintage as well, and I have something for you.  Can you say Vintage ’60’s DIOR??  Let me repeat myself VINTAGE DIOR, PEOPLE.  I’m calm – I’m calm.  This is an original Christian Dior from the 1960’s sold by Neiman Marcus.  The fabric is tobacco brown in ribbed silk (ribbed silk!)

Please look at the detail on this dress.  The darting at the bust that leads down to the side seaming.  The skirt portion hits at low waist with a pleated bow detail.  The bodice is a scoop neck with cap sleeves. *sigh*

The dress closes with a center back metal zipper and has a brown China silk lining.  It is interlined in cotton batiste for added body.”

The measurements are kind of interesting; they’re not what you typically see in sizing today.  Bust – 37″, waist 27″, hips 40″.  Shoulder to waist – 16″, shoulder to shoulder 16″.  I’m envisioning someone curvy and petite in this dress.

If you have a special occasion coming up, look no further – plunk your $450 right here.

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Why don’t we finish these outfits?  Try these green and yellow tear drop dangles from ShopTwigs.com. Or these simple yellow stone earrings, also from Shoptwigs.

The teardrops combine yellow and lime green; wear them with neutrals, wear them with anything that has either color in it, wear them with navy – just wear them!

Originally $163, they’re on sale for $82. (Makes me want to get my ears re-pierced).

The yellow stones, which are just so classic and will go with anything are 3/4″ wide with a 1″ drop, and sell for $110.

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Both these dresses cry out for a wonderful pump (Can you hear the dresses crying, Clarice?)  For the vintage red wool, I recommend simplicity and modernity, both of which you can find in these suede Bottega Veneta platform pumps.

Did I mention they were suede?  Yes, well – 4.5″ heel with a 1″ platform (remember pumpkins, that means it’s going to feel like a 3.5″ heel).

They have an almond shape toe, cone shaped heel and a molded platform and heel.  You can purchase them for $690 at Net a Porter.  Save the economy, buy Bottega Veneta!

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The Dior calls for something more delicate – Dior generally does.  One must be a lady in Dior. Once you’re out of the Dior, all bets are off – I’m just saying.  These red patent leather Jimmy Choos are all wrong but I’m showing them to you anyway.  Because it’s my blog; I can do that.

Red. Patent Leather. Mary Janes. Jimmy Choo.  Do you need to know anything else?

Fine.  Rounded toe, leather upper, leather lining.  Adjustable leather strap along vamp. 4″ heel, made in Italy

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Ah, men!  I’ve neglected you!  Unless you have a shoe fetish in which case you should be all set.

Well that was exciting.  I opened up my men’s file and found…a belt.  Fear not! I come bearing pr0n.  Feast your eyes on this Vintage by La Rosa ’60’s car coat.

This is a mint condition original car coat from the ’60’s.  Traditional collar, long sleeves with rolled cuffs and decorative buttons.

Chest width from underarm to underarm is 20″, sleeve length from shoulder to cuff is 24.5″, and length from neck to hem is 40″.

La Rosa is a vintage boutique on Haight Street in San Francisco, so if you’re nearby – stop in!  If not, head over to eLuxury.com and make sure you have $400 available, credit or debit.

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.If vintage isn’t your bag, never fear.  Barney’s Co-op is here!  I’d love to see my suitors in this Marc by Marc Jacobs Happy Face Cardigan.  Exclusively at the Co-op (man that cracks me up.  $900 clothes at a “co-op”), this light grey cotton v-neck cardigan sweater has a contrast yellow placket , two front pockets and a happy face logo over the left chest.

It’s also available in sort of a heathered gray with a contrast pink placket.  Equally cute!

Why not slip on a pair of dark jeans and these Alexander McQueen bark zip-up ankle boots, and call that special gal pal of yours to go out for a malt?

.Now it seems to me that every time I feature lingerie, my hits go up.  Maybe you all are just a bunch of pervs, but as long as you keep reading, I really don’t care.

Besides, I want to show you this handmade cami and shorts from On the Inside (via Smashing Darling):”Sassafrass” cami and “Forget Me Not Panties”.  Each are handmade in New York City, and the pantiliner is made of organic cotton.

The designer says it’s a very soft cream colored lace with pink detail.  The panties are definitely low rise, but flattering to one’s booty.

The cami has curved cups and plush, adjustable gold straps.

If you’re a small C or below and need just a bit of support rather than underwire, these pieces really look delightful.

The Cami is $35, panties are $20.  Comparable to less that anything you’d find in a good department store, and wouldn’t you rather your money go to a real person anyway?

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I’m going to show you lovelies two more pieces from On the Inside, because I stumbled across someone’s blog earlier, who was complaining that she couldn’t find a simple cotton, non-underwire bra (I swear it was complete coincidence.)

You have no idea how much I wish I would wear this organic cotton “Summersweet Bra” Mint cotton lined in cocoa with a cross-back for extra support.  The bra is $34 (which I would totally pay if I thought it would work on Olga and Helga here). Matching low-rise panties are $20.

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Okay.  Is there anything we haven’t covered (get it? covered? get it? yeah.)  Oh, crap. I promised like 12 million people skirts.

If you’ve got a little more flexibility in your wardrobe, or just want a cute skirt, check out this classic Collectif pencil skirt.  It’s meant to be worn slightly low-rise and it comes in baby-blue, pale pink and lovely lemon yellow.

It’s available in UK sizes 8 – 20 and they do ship to the U.S. and Europe.  Only two left in this particular style and it’s £10 . Check out the rest of their selection to make shipping costs worthwhile.

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For a more classic skirt with a more classic fit, over at ShopBop I found this purple crepe skirt by Black Halo.  It has rounded pockets at the hip with button flap detail, a hidden back zipper and notch at the back waistband (perhaps for a better fit?).  It’s 23″ long, made in the U.S.A., sizes 0-10 for $230.

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.Rounding out tonight’s catch is this cute as a button “Shorthand” skirt, back at Smashing Darling .

White cotton denim with a front tab with buttons that cover a zipper.

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This is by designer Laura Dawson…annnnnd I don’t have any manufacturing information.  $50 – currently available xs – m, which the site tells me is going to run a little small.   I’m calling it 0-8, even though they say 2-10.

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Last one for tonight, and then I leave you.

If any of you are truly and I mean really and truly fashion forward, then I have a gem of a skirt for you.

High waisted, black skirt, with gathers going down the front and sides. 100% cotton, machine washable. by Zeto Clothing.

“Zeto pays utmost attention to detail – using only the highest quality original fabrics, custom-dyes, light weight inks, and in-house artwork to punctuate each piece of clothing”.  $88, with more specific styling details at the website.

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My most precious pr0ners, good night good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night ’til it be morrow.

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Once again – it was good for me; tell me, was it good for you?

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