Tag Archives: celebrities

White House Portrait Pr0n

Greetings my little pr0n pudding cups!  It’s an exciting day here in Washington, DC for we are preparing for a SNOWPOCALYPSE.  We may get 5 or more inches of snow – unheard of!  Your dear blogger is very excited if you can’t tell.  In other Nation’s Capitol news, the official White House Portrait of First Lady Michelle Obama has been unveiled.  Let’s have a look.

Michelle Obama Official White House Portrait

Michelle Obama Official White House Portrait

All due respect, that is one smokin’ First Lady.  I mean, she’s like the anti-Barbara Bush (just sayin’!).  Okay, time to put on our fashionista caps and give it a critical eye.  Good hair?  Check.  Natural smile?  Check.  Now this is interesting, she’s wearing a sleeveless dress,  but instead of the arm seams going straight up and down, they curve like a capital C and backwards capital C. It’s an interesting detail, and a flattering one.  Any other experienced fashionistas out there know about this style?

Apparently the dress was designed by American designer Michael Kors, so maybe we’ll get details later.  I’d guess it’s a black wool of some sort.  I’m seeing a drop waist seam below her hips, are you?  Of course we can’t see the length of the dress, but we’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume it ends at the knee.

This is an A+ portrait, and had it been a photograph, it would have been a Home Run, too.  Her week in fashion overall has been more uneven.

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First Lady Michelle Obama in Narcisso Rodriguez

First Lady Michelle Obama in Narcisso Rodriguez

Here she is at the President’s Congressional Address in plum Narcisso Rodriguez.  She apparently caused quite a kerfuffle by showing up to this event sleeveless.

What can I say, DC is a little stuffy fashion wise.  Does that matter to you, my pr0n pineapples?  What say you, is sleeveless in this situation inappropriate or modern?

There’s a lot to like about this outfit.  The color is perfect, and I love the contrast in textures.  But, is it me or is this fitting her poorly?

I’m seeing that the blouse part seems to be er…blousing strangely, and the skirt looks too big.  Not that I expect what she wears to be skin tight, but you’d think the White House has tailors, no?


Michelle Obama in Kai Milla Emerald Trapeze Dress

Michelle Obama in Kai Milla Emerald Trapeze Dress

On the other hand I love the emerald trapeze dress designed by Stevie Wonder’s wife, Kai Milla.  She wore this to the dinner and Stevie Wonder concert at the White House.

I know I said in White House Pr0n that I don’t like true jewel tones on the First Lady, but every rule has an exception, right?

Pr0ners, this is how you do a “young” style, and not look ridiculous.  It’s all too easy when wearing a trapeze or baby doll style to look like you’ve just stepped out of kindergarten, or are a shapeless lump.  Here though, Mrs. Obama looks fresh and young without being age inappropriate.

The dress is accentuated with a wide black ribbon at the empire waistline, which breaks up the dress nicely, and breaks up her torso nicely.  Her jewelry is lusciously simple: a diamond cuff bracelet, and earrings.

I’ll give it an A.  It’s not my most favorite style on her, but it works and it’s charming.  I can’t complain.

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I have several complaints about this Jason Wu dress, and with the exception of her Inaugural Ballgown, this seems to be a theme with me and him.  Next time on Shopping Pr0n: Grudgematch, Dinsquared vs. Jason Wu! :D

Michelle Obama in Jason Wu

Michelle Obama in Jason Wu

I don’t hate all of this dress; in fact, I love the style.  I like the neckline, I like the bodice pleating detail, and I don’t even mind that it’s below the knee; I think it works here.

My problem is with the color and pattern.  Bright purple with dark purple polka dots?  Really, Jason Wu?  Jason Wu, really?

Is this flattering to you, peanuts?  I don’t think the color does anything for her skin; it’s too bright and the dots are just distracting.

Grudgingly, I’m giving this outfit a B+.  I really do like the style and the concept.  As I like to say: right style, wrong execution.


Here she is on the cover of this week’s People Magazine with a new hairdo. Cute!  Sadly, Dinsquared does not approve of the dress she’s chosen.

First Lady Michelle Obama in Tracy Reese

First Lady Michelle Obama in Tracy Reese

Remember how I said I liked the Kai Milla dress because it had that big black band to break it up?  That’s the first reason I don’t like this dress.

When she wears an empire waist with nothing else to break up the outfit, she looks disproportionately long (I’ve said this before.  Nobody listens to me.)

Look at the Jason Wu – it’s probably a natural waist, which breaks her up into equal sections.  The Narcisso Rodriguez is a high waist, but not as high as this, and it has the difference in textures to break up the line, and the black Michael Kors has a barely perceivable drop waist, which again breaks her into equal sections.

The second problem I have with this dress is the color.  No more wire hangers bright colors!  This is bright pink.  This should be a dull rose.

Third, and throw things if you must, I just don’t like the dress.  I usually love Tracy Reese, but this does nothing for me.  Final Grade: B.

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I’m pleased to tell you all that I’ve saved the best for last.  I hope you’re sitting down for this (Of course you’re sitting down. Who stands up at a computer?) because she’s wearing sleeves.

First Lady Michelle Obama at the Transportation Dept

First Lady Michelle Obama at the Transportation Dep't

I kid!  I kid!  She’s got great arms; if she can stay warm going sleeveless in DC in February, more power to her.

Sadly, I have no designer information here.  I can only say that she is wearing a grey and black houndstooth suit with a black mock turtleneck, and a large pearl brooch.  I’m lovin’ it!

Never fear, for according to my sources her hair is merely pinned back, not cut.  What’s really interesting to me is how little makeup she’s wearing.  It’s not that she ever wears lots of makeup, but she’s wearing remarkably little here.  Thumbs up for a natural, professional look.

I don’t have any full length photos, but there’s nothing that would lead me to believe there’s a thing wrong with this outfit, except maybe her usual dumpy shoes (I said don’t throw things!)

Keeping that in mind, I’m going to knock off a few points and give this a Final Grade of A, rather than A+.

All photos here are courtesy of The Huffington Post, except for the People magazine cover, which is courtesy of People Magazine.  Thanks!


I hope you enjoyed this second, no – third! post on Michelle Obama.  My first was Inaugural Pr0n.  I enjoy bringing you these posts because the First Lady has so much spectacular fashion pr0n potential.  Don’t you think?

Do subscribe if you like what you see (It’s the Orange striped thingy in the sidebar or the Google Button).  There’s lots more coming up!  I’m working on the first in a series on how to dress for your body type, and of course Mondays are always Pr0n Plus for the very best in Plus Size Fashion!

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Until next time.  It was good for me; tell me, was it good for you?
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2009 Grammy Pr0n

Hello, pr0nsters! Is it me you’re looking for? By special request today, I’m doing Grammy Pr0n!!! I was thinking about doing it anyway, but I do take requests! If anyone knows how to fuck up a perfectly good outfit, it’s a (famous) musician. So since I didn’t actually watch the Grammys last night, I’m curious to see what gems can be found. Deka, take note. This could fill your blog for dayyyyyys.

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Jumping Jebus on a pogo stick, where do I even start?  You know, I’d like to give some love to Cyndi Lauper. I really truly was. Cyndi’s awesome and amazing, and a pioneer in music and I think there’s a lot in fashion she can get away with. This is not one of them.

 You know how they say that mullets are business in the front and a party in the back. This is like…a beehive in front and…just plain ugly all around! Then she’s added some sort of tuxedo dress which is just unflattering, with hideous patterned hose.  Why, Cyndi, why?

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Jennifer Hudson apparently decided it was appropriate to wear a fan on her bosom.

Hey, Pr0nMom – do you remember the fan lady from Pr0nGrandparents 50th Wedding Aniversary? She had a dress just like this.

Kid you not you guys, only the top really looked like a fan. This is perhaps more napkin like. Does Andre Talley think she’s going to spill on herself?

 

Kate Beckinsale decided to go for the “Goth Mermaid” look, apparently. How do you pee in something like this? (Oh, come on. You were thinking it, too.)

 
And so you’re back, from outer space…

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GAH! That’s enough, Solange Knowles! In fact, that’s far, far too little.

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It’s the HardyBoys Jonas Brothers!

 

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My sources tell me he’s named “T-Pain”.  How about “I’m in pain”?

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I don’t know who Jennifer Nettles is, but if she sounds as good as she looks, I’d like to.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well played Shantae Brodus and Snoop Dogg. Well played.  Crisp, coordinated, fashionable.

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Anna Wintour styled Adele for the Grammys. While it could have been better, I’d say that’s Anna Wintour 1 – Andre Tally 0. I love the color and the jacket. The dress is fine.

 

 

 

 

Ladies Love Cool James for a reason. This is one.

*stares*

 

Who knew? Well played, Justin Guarini.

Gray pinstripe suit, pits well, little purple shirt action going on, black shoes. You could lose the facial hair, but I’ll take it.

 

Pr0n stars, it’s been a rough road. I leave you with this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Until next time. It was good for me; tell me: was it good for you?

 

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Special thanks to Hollywood.com and TVGuide.com for the Grammy pictures.

Celebrity Pr0n

Welcome back, Pr0n lovers. I missed you. I hadn’t intended to post again so soon, so you’d be left wanting more. But the SAG Awards were last night, and where there are award shows, there’s pr0n. The way I see it, these people generally have gobs of money, are getting clothing and jewelry for free (from designers falling all over themselves to donate), and have access to the best stylists and hair and makeup artists around. They have no excuse for looking bad.

So I was browsing through the Red Carpet Arrivals at Hollywood.com, waiting for something to catch my eye when I saw Terri Hatcher looking like she was being eaten by a Blancmange!

I’m not entirely sure why a Blancmange would eat Teri Hatcher as there doesn’t appear to be anything nourishing there, but I’m not sure what else to say about this dress other than that it looks like one of those horrid “toilet paper wedding dresses” people think it’s hilarious to play at bridal showers.  I’m guessing this dress wasn’t made out of toilet paper, but you never know. Someone call Mr. Whipple.

I could say something about Nicolette Sheridan’s electric blue boogaloo dress. But I won’t. I’ll just show it to you front and back. 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Ah, now this is how you do vintage. DO check out Christina Applegate in this divine drop-waisted bias cut kelly green silk dress. 

Note the upswept but neat hair, the appropriate jewelry and that little silver clutch. Damn you Christina Aguilera!

I see Jane Krakowski RSVP’d with a +2 for the evening.

 

Is America Ferrera going for Ms. Goth SAG Awards 2009? I just don’t know what’s going on with this dress.

 

 I like Amy Adams, and I want to like this dress on Amy Adams. Actually, I do like this dress on Amy Adams. I think it’s lovely and well fitted and a great color. It’s just that the hair and makeup are so severe that I’m distracted from the dress.

By now you’re thinking there’s just no hope!  To be honest, so am I.  But then I saw Tarji P. Henson. My mad IMDB skillz told me that not only is she from Washington, DC, but she was in the Curious Case of Benjamin Button (which I have not yet seen).  The only thing curious about this outfit is who is her stylist and how can I get some time with them ?!

Note to Jane Krakowski: this is how you put the girls on display without looking like…you.  This dress fits like a dream, I love the color – white on brown skin, yellow on brown skin, coral on brown skin. Yes, please!

The hair is simple, the dress has clean lines, with a twist going below her bust and back up perhaps to the halter neck. Please take a momen to note the ONE piece of jewelry she’s chosen to accessorize with: a gold (and diamond?) cuff bracelet. She’s just letting the dress do all the work for her, and boy is it ever working for her.

I’m going to give my final props for the night to Lisa Eddlestein in this tomato red one-shoulder Griecan sheath with a silver clasp at the shoulder.  The color and style are really working for her, the hair and makeup are subtle, and the bag and wrist cuff make perfect accessories. Thumbs up, Cuddy!

 

That’s all for now, my little pr0n friends. Thanks again to Hollywood.com for the pictures. Thanks to you for reading.

It was good for me; tell me: was it good for you?

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Inaugural Pr0n

Welcome to your Inaugural Shopping Pr0n (OIC what you did there.) As the saying goes, opinions are like belly buttons: everyone’s got one. Some of us have more than one. (Opinion, not belly button. That would just be weird.) As long as everyone else is talking about Obama fashion, my opinion is at least as good as anyone else’s.

Who needs a puppy when you have these two?

Starting with the highest high note: Malia and Sasha Obama in J. Crew. I can’t say enough about these outfits. So bright and colorful, coordinated without looking cloy and totally age appropriate. Malia gets royal blue, accented with black tights, gloves and scarf, while Sasha gets a cotton candy pink coat, accented with red tights and shoes, a coraly pink dress and orange scarf and gloves. LOVE orange and pink together. SO current. While the outfits were custom made, thumbs up to the Obamas for going with a mass-market designer; they looked comfortable and happy (and warm, hello?). I want to snuggle them. 10 out of 10.

Seriously, are there two more attractive people in this country?

Let’s start with the First Lady (whee!) getting it right, because when she gets it right she is just such an elegant woman. With her height and her figure, who wouldn’t want to dress her? At the Sunday Inaugural Concert, that honor went to Narcisso Rodriguez. Narcisso shares something with Mrs. Obama: when he gets it right, he gets it so so right (see Charlize Theron, Kate Moss, Salma Hayek). But when he get is wrong, as in that awful belted red thing Michelle wore after the election? *sigh*

Anyway, let’s examine this outfit: The coat is camel colored with a black lining, then there’s a matching camel colored pencil-skirt, black belt, black crew-neck sweater with a few sparkles, a black scarf, and black kitten heels from what I can see. The color combination is divine. If you want classic you just can’t do any better than camel and black, and both colors look really nice with Michelle’s skin. Loving the pencil skirt, I think it’s a fantastic sillouette for her, and don’t even get me started on that coat. *droooool*

I’m not crazy about the sweater. First, I don’t like crew necks on her – like me, I don’t think they’re flattering and she needs a slightly more open neckline. The beading…is kind of meh to me. It feels borderline like that crazy Quacker Factory lady. Also, I have to deduct points for the shoes. I’m really not sure what the deal is with Michelle and shoes, but she needs an intervention. I think I had those shoes in 7th grade (don’t throw things at me!). If you’re going to wear flats (and you really shouldn’t with a pencil skirt), wear flats. If you’re going to wear heels, wear heels. Okay, keeping everything in mind I’ll give the outfit a final grade of 7.5 out of 10. Change the shoes and the sweater and you’ve got a 9 or a 10 on your hands.

The President looks effortlessly chic in a black suit, overcoat and gloves, with a cornflower blue tie. 10 out of 10. You can’t expect anything more out of that kind of an outfit…except bullet resistant clothing. So I have to say this one goes to 11.

Here’s where it starts to get dicey.

Really Michelle? Michelle, really?

I’ll start with the facts. The facts are that Michelle’s Inauguration Day outfit was made by Cuban born designer Isabel Toledo (To-LEY-do), who knew about when we all did that one of her creastions had been chosen by the new First Lady. Ms. Toldeo’s designs are characterized by the intricate designwork you can see on the coat and skirt if you look closely.

The color has been best described (IMO) as “lemongrass”. The coat is lined in silk and pashmina for warmth, and also has “arm sweaters” for extra warmth. It appears to be a just at or below the knee jewel-neck sheath, with a slightly darker toned empire waist cardigan that ties with a ribbon. The gloves are by J. Crew and the shoes are by Jimmy Choo. Those are the facts.

These are my opinions: I don’t like the color. Anyone who says it’s “sunny and optimistic” will be summarily smacked through the internet. It’s not. A sunny yellow would have been lovely. This is neither sunny nor optimistic. It’s bordering on the color of puke. The embellishment looks heavy and comes across as brocade, which is far too old for Mrs. Obama. It’s too long. She has a habit of wearing her dresses and skirts this length and it must stop.

Because she’s so tall, this length only makes her look disproportionately longer. Her skirts need to stop at the knee, please. The coat is even longer! Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick are we trying to make the woman into Barbara Bush? Even Nancy Reagan had a better sense of proportion. I’m sorry, I’m getting upset. *inhales*

The collar isn’t fantastic; it’s slightly better than a crew neck, but not by much. The shape of the dress is okay – we know Mrs. Obama likes sheaths, but she could have done better. It needs more definition at her true waist or just slightly higher.

The gloves and shoes do not go. Stacy and Clinton say, “You don’t have to match, you just have to go.” The problem is that the greens she’s wearing aren’t in the same tone family. A similar shoe in a much better color is these “Amaya” pumps by Lauren – Ralph Lauren.

If I was dressing Michelle (I’d be a very content woman), I’d put her in something like this coral RM by Roland Mouret Romy Dress, give it a higher neckline, jewel length sleeves and make it in wool. Then I’d coordinate it with a mushroomy colored coat. Or, I’d put her in something like this Lela Rose Yellow Sapphire Wrap Dress. Make it in a nice nubby wool crepe or gabardine, with jewel or 3/4 length sleeves and a slightly darker toned coat. Oh, and lower the hem just to the knee. Did. Done. *nods* Oh – final grade…6 out of 10.

Okay. Moving on to happier times, the BALL *dun dun dun*. Not only does the First Lady have the pressure of choosing The Gown, but The Gown gets donated to the Smithsonian. That’s pressure. So how did she do?

wow

A white one shoulder chiffon dress by designer Jason Wu, who again did not know his dress had been chosen until he saw it on TV. What’s good about this dress? The color. White is visually stunning against her skin, and I love the cleanness of it (and how the President matches her). The bodice. I love where the waistline hits her, I love how the bodice emphasises her top half and then just flowers up and over her bust. I like the skirt an awful lot. I think it’s what it should be for the dress, I think the detail on it (hand sewn) is beautiful, and I think overall it suits her personality, which is something I particularly appreciate. It’s very her. It’s modern and chic and young without being overdone. Her makeup was subduded and she looked radiant. I’m giving this a 8 out of 10.

I could quibble slightly with the President’s tux. I wouldn’t have minded seeing him in a more modern or European cut, which would have been slimmer, maybe a 3 button jacket. But his tuxedo was traditional and classic, and there’s nothing wrong with that. 8 out of 10.

There’s your pr0n for today. It was good for me; was it good for you?

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Free Pr0n!

Welcome to Shopping Pr0n; I hope you enjoy your stay.  The point of this blog is for me to search the web looking for the most fantasy inducing, luscious, make-you-want-to-lick men’s and women’s fashion and accessories and bring them back in one post for your viewing enjoyment. What you do while reading is up to you.

I’ll usually have a theme or an inspiration for the post. Sites will range from upper end stores like eLuxury.com, and Net_a_Porter.com, branch out into places like ETSY and ModCloth, and some of my favorite places to shop on the web, such as Bluefly and TrashyDiva. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.

In between I’ll throw in a little celebrity fashion analysis, in particular posts about Michelle Obama, my current fashion muse. We’ll talk designers, color, style – don’t worry if you don’t have any experience, I like to teach.

So let’s get started. Tell me: what’s your fantasy?

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