Tag Archives: ankle boots

Pure Pr0n

It’s good to see you my little pr0n dumplings.  Did you miss me?  Say you did.  Tonight’s post is what this blog is all about: pure pr0n.  No holds barred, the best of the best of the fashion the web has to offer at any price from any designer.  The only requirement is that it gets your engine running: heart rate faster, pupils dilated, slightly flushed – the whole nine yards.  But enough talk, let’s get busy.

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I have good news, dumplings; I’m in love.  It’s true: I’m in love with a handbag.  This is via the store/site Hayden-Harnett NYC , which I’d never heard of until I read Shopahol Hangover, and really – who among us hasn’t had a fashion hangover? Amirite?

Be warned this is a slim tote. “Din?” I hear you asking, “What means this ‘slim tote’?  What are the implications for me?”  Due time, dumplings.  Due time.

What it means is that a) the handle drop is 3.5 inches.  This bag is meant to be carried jauntily in the crook of your arm. “But Din,” I hear you ask, “I can’t carry much if it’s hanging on the crook of my arm.”  Precisely, lumpkins.

This “Oryx Clutch” is meant “for a night on the town”.   At 1.5″ deep, there’s enough for a light cardigan, your cell phone, wallet, condoms (we have had this talk, haven’t we?), and perhaps a pair of slippers for when those fabulous pumps feel a wee bit less than fabulous.  $325, coincidentally ships 3/25.

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But my love is fleeting and fickle.  From the people at Simply Yours who brought you Gok Wan, comes Simply Be for plus-size clothing like this Big Button Jacket, available in (UK) sizes 14-32!

This jacket is made in machine washable, uber-soft velour and is fully lined.  Looks like 3 buttons with a tab closure on the bottom.  It’s car-coat length, so it’s hitting around mid-thigh.

The jacket comes in three colors – this is Ochre; there’s also Burnt Orange and Green, which is sort of…minty.

Let’s talk turkey £50, which Google tells me is about $72.00 these days.  Sadly, Simply Be does not ship to the U.S. yet, but I’m thinking about a Pr0n Cultural Exchange program.

If someone wants to buy from Simply Yours or Simply Be, contact me and I’ll see if I can arrange for a UK friend to ship in exchange for sexual favors my undying love and a favor to be returned later.

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But my lovely lemons cannot go naked underneath their new coats!  No no, that will not do.  And so I give you this actual vintage 60’s  red wool knit suit, courtesy of  Couture Allure.  When I say actual vintage, I mean actual vintage. There’s one of these, so if you want it – go get it.  We’ll still be here.

The chest is 40″, the waist is elasticized, so it’s 30″ not stretched out.  I would add several more inches to that in terms of actual capacity.  The sleeves are 18″ from the shoulder seam, so 3/4 length? and the top is meant to be looser than the skirt, which is 20″.

It’s 100% wool with a side zipper on the skirt.  Check out the website for actual condition information, but it’s $55.00.  Pr0n Approved.

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Now, my under size 14 pr0nistas love vintage as well, and I have something for you.  Can you say Vintage ’60’s DIOR??  Let me repeat myself VINTAGE DIOR, PEOPLE.  I’m calm – I’m calm.  This is an original Christian Dior from the 1960’s sold by Neiman Marcus.  The fabric is tobacco brown in ribbed silk (ribbed silk!)

Please look at the detail on this dress.  The darting at the bust that leads down to the side seaming.  The skirt portion hits at low waist with a pleated bow detail.  The bodice is a scoop neck with cap sleeves. *sigh*

The dress closes with a center back metal zipper and has a brown China silk lining.  It is interlined in cotton batiste for added body.”

The measurements are kind of interesting; they’re not what you typically see in sizing today.  Bust – 37″, waist 27″, hips 40″.  Shoulder to waist – 16″, shoulder to shoulder 16″.  I’m envisioning someone curvy and petite in this dress.

If you have a special occasion coming up, look no further – plunk your $450 right here.

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Why don’t we finish these outfits?  Try these green and yellow tear drop dangles from ShopTwigs.com. Or these simple yellow stone earrings, also from Shoptwigs.

The teardrops combine yellow and lime green; wear them with neutrals, wear them with anything that has either color in it, wear them with navy – just wear them!

Originally $163, they’re on sale for $82. (Makes me want to get my ears re-pierced).

The yellow stones, which are just so classic and will go with anything are 3/4″ wide with a 1″ drop, and sell for $110.

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Both these dresses cry out for a wonderful pump (Can you hear the dresses crying, Clarice?)  For the vintage red wool, I recommend simplicity and modernity, both of which you can find in these suede Bottega Veneta platform pumps.

Did I mention they were suede?  Yes, well – 4.5″ heel with a 1″ platform (remember pumpkins, that means it’s going to feel like a 3.5″ heel).

They have an almond shape toe, cone shaped heel and a molded platform and heel.  You can purchase them for $690 at Net a Porter.  Save the economy, buy Bottega Veneta!

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The Dior calls for something more delicate – Dior generally does.  One must be a lady in Dior. Once you’re out of the Dior, all bets are off – I’m just saying.  These red patent leather Jimmy Choos are all wrong but I’m showing them to you anyway.  Because it’s my blog; I can do that.

Red. Patent Leather. Mary Janes. Jimmy Choo.  Do you need to know anything else?

Fine.  Rounded toe, leather upper, leather lining.  Adjustable leather strap along vamp. 4″ heel, made in Italy

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Ah, men!  I’ve neglected you!  Unless you have a shoe fetish in which case you should be all set.

Well that was exciting.  I opened up my men’s file and found…a belt.  Fear not! I come bearing pr0n.  Feast your eyes on this Vintage by La Rosa ’60’s car coat.

This is a mint condition original car coat from the ’60’s.  Traditional collar, long sleeves with rolled cuffs and decorative buttons.

Chest width from underarm to underarm is 20″, sleeve length from shoulder to cuff is 24.5″, and length from neck to hem is 40″.

La Rosa is a vintage boutique on Haight Street in San Francisco, so if you’re nearby – stop in!  If not, head over to eLuxury.com and make sure you have $400 available, credit or debit.

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.If vintage isn’t your bag, never fear.  Barney’s Co-op is here!  I’d love to see my suitors in this Marc by Marc Jacobs Happy Face Cardigan.  Exclusively at the Co-op (man that cracks me up.  $900 clothes at a “co-op”), this light grey cotton v-neck cardigan sweater has a contrast yellow placket , two front pockets and a happy face logo over the left chest.

It’s also available in sort of a heathered gray with a contrast pink placket.  Equally cute!

Why not slip on a pair of dark jeans and these Alexander McQueen bark zip-up ankle boots, and call that special gal pal of yours to go out for a malt?

.Now it seems to me that every time I feature lingerie, my hits go up.  Maybe you all are just a bunch of pervs, but as long as you keep reading, I really don’t care.

Besides, I want to show you this handmade cami and shorts from On the Inside (via Smashing Darling):”Sassafrass” cami and “Forget Me Not Panties”.  Each are handmade in New York City, and the pantiliner is made of organic cotton.

The designer says it’s a very soft cream colored lace with pink detail.  The panties are definitely low rise, but flattering to one’s booty.

The cami has curved cups and plush, adjustable gold straps.

If you’re a small C or below and need just a bit of support rather than underwire, these pieces really look delightful.

The Cami is $35, panties are $20.  Comparable to less that anything you’d find in a good department store, and wouldn’t you rather your money go to a real person anyway?

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I’m going to show you lovelies two more pieces from On the Inside, because I stumbled across someone’s blog earlier, who was complaining that she couldn’t find a simple cotton, non-underwire bra (I swear it was complete coincidence.)

You have no idea how much I wish I would wear this organic cotton “Summersweet Bra” Mint cotton lined in cocoa with a cross-back for extra support.  The bra is $34 (which I would totally pay if I thought it would work on Olga and Helga here). Matching low-rise panties are $20.

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Okay.  Is there anything we haven’t covered (get it? covered? get it? yeah.)  Oh, crap. I promised like 12 million people skirts.

If you’ve got a little more flexibility in your wardrobe, or just want a cute skirt, check out this classic Collectif pencil skirt.  It’s meant to be worn slightly low-rise and it comes in baby-blue, pale pink and lovely lemon yellow.

It’s available in UK sizes 8 – 20 and they do ship to the U.S. and Europe.  Only two left in this particular style and it’s £10 . Check out the rest of their selection to make shipping costs worthwhile.

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For a more classic skirt with a more classic fit, over at ShopBop I found this purple crepe skirt by Black Halo.  It has rounded pockets at the hip with button flap detail, a hidden back zipper and notch at the back waistband (perhaps for a better fit?).  It’s 23″ long, made in the U.S.A., sizes 0-10 for $230.

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.Rounding out tonight’s catch is this cute as a button “Shorthand” skirt, back at Smashing Darling .

White cotton denim with a front tab with buttons that cover a zipper.

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This is by designer Laura Dawson…annnnnd I don’t have any manufacturing information.  $50 – currently available xs – m, which the site tells me is going to run a little small.   I’m calling it 0-8, even though they say 2-10.

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Last one for tonight, and then I leave you.

If any of you are truly and I mean really and truly fashion forward, then I have a gem of a skirt for you.

High waisted, black skirt, with gathers going down the front and sides. 100% cotton, machine washable. by Zeto Clothing.

“Zeto pays utmost attention to detail – using only the highest quality original fabrics, custom-dyes, light weight inks, and in-house artwork to punctuate each piece of clothing”.  $88, with more specific styling details at the website.

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My most precious pr0ners, good night good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night ’til it be morrow.

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Once again – it was good for me; tell me, was it good for you?

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Clearance Pr0n – Part 2

Hi there, Pr0nos – thanks for coming! Today’s post is another clearance pr0n post! I’m busy gathering links for this week’s Plump Pr0n (? Got a better name? Help!), but in the meantime there are so many delicious deals out there that my bookmarks are virtually bulging at the seams.

I want to start with a rarity: a men’s site I found that’s in both the U.S. and the U.K. Topman.com has such ridiculous sales right now, I could probably show you everything, but I only bring you the pr0niest fashion. Unfortunately everything that I want to show you is out of stock. :( ( I know, I know – that was all wind up and hardly any release). But I will show you these adorable Moped cuff-links.

I mean really! So you can’t afford a Vespa ? You can afford Moped cuff-links! You little hipster you.

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Next, via StyleC*nt , is this really interesting UK clothing shop, All Saints. If I’m not mistaken, some of what they feature would be what the kiddies these days are calling Steampunk. What I call this leather High Flyer Jacket is OMGLOVE.  Like buttah. First, I can just tell from the picture how soft that leather is going to be.  Second, I love the color – taupe maybe?

Finally, what I love most is the styling – they’ve taken a basic motorcycle jacket and changed it up with two extra zippers on either side of the real one. Details like that are what make a piece of clothing pr0n. It was £250 (US $356 more or less), is now £150 (US$213 more or less). Not bad at all for a deelish leather jacket (if you’re a size small.)

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Their women’s clothes are equally pr0n worthy, starting with the “Rogue Dress”
This is a style of dress you would expect to see at a much higher price point by “big name” designers.  What you should look at in particular is the seaming at the skirt – the way it darts in, and then creates almost a corset effect in the bodice.  The bottom is a lightweight cotton, and then the top – which is almost Grecian the way it’s draped- is silk. Don’t forget that these are UK sizes, pr0nistas – US sizes are about one below, and this is a slim fit.  This dress was £90 (about US$128) – a steal at full price; it’s now £54 (about US$77).  This neutrally color palette is good on so many skin tones; I’m just gaga over it.

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Going in a completely different direction is this mustard colored “Tobacco” dress from Elsa.  Your blogger must confess that she has a soft spot for vintagey/mod clothing, and this dress has me saying “Pass the Grey Poupon!

A round halter neck attaches to a shift darted in the bust, with a seam at the natural waist and two front pocket flaps.  What it doesn’t say is how long the dress is, but throw a cardigan, some chunky “pearls”, colored tights and chunky heeled pumps and you’re set for any occasion.

Originally $350, its reduced to $175 on final sale at ChickDowntown.com .

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Now – this dress needs a fabulous handbag, and if you’re the kind of pr0n lover who can keep a white handbag white for more than the length of time it takes to get it out of the box (So not me.) Feast your pr0n loving eyes on this Tabitha in White handbag from Shoptwigs.com.

This is a classic “bowling” bag shape – I’ve had to shrink the picture significantly for the post, so do check it out in all it’s full sized glory. This is what makes a designer handbag a designer handbag: solid hardware (including bottom feet), serious quality stitching, a silk interior lining and I can only imagine a full-grain leather (as opposed to just the “top” grain).

Now remember the two rules of Shopping Pr0n:The first rule of Shopping Pr0n is you do not talk about Shopping Pron half off Gucci is still a month’s rent. The second rule of Shopping Pr0n is get it while it lasts…first come, first served, supplies are limited.  Keeping that in mind, this pr0nish bag was originally $996 – it’s on sale for $398! In case you can’t divide, that’s better than half price!!

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Moving on, while your blogger understands that her male readers like to be “comfortable”, she lacks sympathy. Have you seen the shoes we women wear ? For that reason, I bypassed “casual” shoes or “upscale sneakers” and went straight for the russell leather “Chelsea” boots by Cole Haan.

If anyone knows leather – Cole Haan knows leather. It shows in these brown ankle boots, leather lining, slightly square toe, and elastic “gussets” on both sides for ease of insertion and removal. These are $265 boots on sale for $129.

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Speaking of suffering for fashion, any amount of suffering is worth these Velvet Angels “Asssassin” double buckle flat boot.  I’m talking black patent leather, I’m talking knee high, I’m talking half off – retailing at $400 (the designer used to design for Gwen Stefani’s L.A.M.B. line), on sale for $200 smackeroos.

You’d normally expect to pay $200 for a great pair of boots, so why not get a better pair? Amirite?

Oh, these boots are from Revolve Clothing, which I found via If the Shoe Fits, which is a very cool blog you should all go check out. As soon as you’ve read this post and commented on it. (What?)

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Finally, I have a long distance dedication to reader Thette, who specifically requested a bold printed dress for a curvy woman.  I was hoping to find something a little more distinctly Pucci-esque, but what I did find is this adorable tile print silk shift going up to a size 20 at Talbots.

Distressingly, their “women’s” line (12w-24w) sells no dresses at all at least online. That’s just…completely baffling to me. But this is a lime green summer dress that I’d love to see on a larger woman – however it is going to look best on women who are less curvy, particularly less busty. If you’ve got an hourglass thing going on this straight shift is just going to hide your bootylicious figure. Oh, and it’s silk with a back zip, and also comes in petite!

The absolute best part is that this dress was originally $159, it’s now $74.99 and you get a second sale item at 50% off!  (Say this cotton lawn split neck tunic? It could be yours for $15.00!)

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Whew! I don’t know about you dear p0rn lovers, but I’m spent! I hope this post gives you something to wear, or at least something to dream about.

As always – it was good for me; tell me, was it good for you?

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