Category Archives: Awards Shows

2009 Grammy Pr0n

Hello, pr0nsters! Is it me you’re looking for? By special request today, I’m doing Grammy Pr0n!!! I was thinking about doing it anyway, but I do take requests! If anyone knows how to fuck up a perfectly good outfit, it’s a (famous) musician. So since I didn’t actually watch the Grammys last night, I’m curious to see what gems can be found. Deka, take note. This could fill your blog for dayyyyyys.

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Jumping Jebus on a pogo stick, where do I even start?  You know, I’d like to give some love to Cyndi Lauper. I really truly was. Cyndi’s awesome and amazing, and a pioneer in music and I think there’s a lot in fashion she can get away with. This is not one of them.

 You know how they say that mullets are business in the front and a party in the back. This is like…a beehive in front and…just plain ugly all around! Then she’s added some sort of tuxedo dress which is just unflattering, with hideous patterned hose.  Why, Cyndi, why?

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Jennifer Hudson apparently decided it was appropriate to wear a fan on her bosom.

Hey, Pr0nMom – do you remember the fan lady from Pr0nGrandparents 50th Wedding Aniversary? She had a dress just like this.

Kid you not you guys, only the top really looked like a fan. This is perhaps more napkin like. Does Andre Talley think she’s going to spill on herself?

 

Kate Beckinsale decided to go for the “Goth Mermaid” look, apparently. How do you pee in something like this? (Oh, come on. You were thinking it, too.)

 
And so you’re back, from outer space…

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GAH! That’s enough, Solange Knowles! In fact, that’s far, far too little.

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It’s the HardyBoys Jonas Brothers!

 

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My sources tell me he’s named “T-Pain”.  How about “I’m in pain”?

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I don’t know who Jennifer Nettles is, but if she sounds as good as she looks, I’d like to.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well played Shantae Brodus and Snoop Dogg. Well played.  Crisp, coordinated, fashionable.

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Anna Wintour styled Adele for the Grammys. While it could have been better, I’d say that’s Anna Wintour 1 – Andre Tally 0. I love the color and the jacket. The dress is fine.

 

 

 

 

Ladies Love Cool James for a reason. This is one.

*stares*

 

Who knew? Well played, Justin Guarini.

Gray pinstripe suit, pits well, little purple shirt action going on, black shoes. You could lose the facial hair, but I’ll take it.

 

Pr0n stars, it’s been a rough road. I leave you with this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Until next time. It was good for me; tell me: was it good for you?

 

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Special thanks to Hollywood.com and TVGuide.com for the Grammy pictures.

Celebrity Pr0n

Welcome back, Pr0n lovers. I missed you. I hadn’t intended to post again so soon, so you’d be left wanting more. But the SAG Awards were last night, and where there are award shows, there’s pr0n. The way I see it, these people generally have gobs of money, are getting clothing and jewelry for free (from designers falling all over themselves to donate), and have access to the best stylists and hair and makeup artists around. They have no excuse for looking bad.

So I was browsing through the Red Carpet Arrivals at Hollywood.com, waiting for something to catch my eye when I saw Terri Hatcher looking like she was being eaten by a Blancmange!

I’m not entirely sure why a Blancmange would eat Teri Hatcher as there doesn’t appear to be anything nourishing there, but I’m not sure what else to say about this dress other than that it looks like one of those horrid “toilet paper wedding dresses” people think it’s hilarious to play at bridal showers.  I’m guessing this dress wasn’t made out of toilet paper, but you never know. Someone call Mr. Whipple.

I could say something about Nicolette Sheridan’s electric blue boogaloo dress. But I won’t. I’ll just show it to you front and back. 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Ah, now this is how you do vintage. DO check out Christina Applegate in this divine drop-waisted bias cut kelly green silk dress. 

Note the upswept but neat hair, the appropriate jewelry and that little silver clutch. Damn you Christina Aguilera!

I see Jane Krakowski RSVP’d with a +2 for the evening.

 

Is America Ferrera going for Ms. Goth SAG Awards 2009? I just don’t know what’s going on with this dress.

 

 I like Amy Adams, and I want to like this dress on Amy Adams. Actually, I do like this dress on Amy Adams. I think it’s lovely and well fitted and a great color. It’s just that the hair and makeup are so severe that I’m distracted from the dress.

By now you’re thinking there’s just no hope!  To be honest, so am I.  But then I saw Tarji P. Henson. My mad IMDB skillz told me that not only is she from Washington, DC, but she was in the Curious Case of Benjamin Button (which I have not yet seen).  The only thing curious about this outfit is who is her stylist and how can I get some time with them ?!

Note to Jane Krakowski: this is how you put the girls on display without looking like…you.  This dress fits like a dream, I love the color – white on brown skin, yellow on brown skin, coral on brown skin. Yes, please!

The hair is simple, the dress has clean lines, with a twist going below her bust and back up perhaps to the halter neck. Please take a momen to note the ONE piece of jewelry she’s chosen to accessorize with: a gold (and diamond?) cuff bracelet. She’s just letting the dress do all the work for her, and boy is it ever working for her.

I’m going to give my final props for the night to Lisa Eddlestein in this tomato red one-shoulder Griecan sheath with a silver clasp at the shoulder.  The color and style are really working for her, the hair and makeup are subtle, and the bag and wrist cuff make perfect accessories. Thumbs up, Cuddy!

 

That’s all for now, my little pr0n friends. Thanks again to Hollywood.com for the pictures. Thanks to you for reading.

It was good for me; tell me: was it good for you?

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