Well, now I’ve gone and done it, pr0nsters. Now that I’ve recommended one product to you (over here in Makeup Pr0n), I have to recommend another.
The good news is that this is a product everyone can afford, everyone can use, and will work for everyone. “Din!” you cry. (Cause you’re my peeps and that’s how we roll.) “Din! What could this magical product possibly be?”
This magical product is the only face mask you’ll ever need. You may want others, but you’ll really only ever need this to absorb oil from your skin:
Phillips Milk of Magnesia
Wait! Don’t go! Hear me out! When taken internally by mouth
as a laxative
, the osmotic
force of the [Milk of] Magnesia suspension
acts to draw fluids from the body and to retain those already within the lumen
of the intestine
, serving to distend the bowel, thus stimulating nerves within the colon
wall, inducing peristalsis
and resulting in evacuation of colonic
Look, people it absorbs, okay? Don’t make me do that again. If it absorbs fluid in you, it’s going to absorb oil on you.
Your (hopefully still dear) blogger has a face that would make the Ewing family
jealous. Especially in summer, you could fry a chicken off of my skin. The absolute best think in the world is good old MoM: Milk of Magnesia.
Step 1: Give it a good shake.
Step 2: Apply to face, taking care to avoid eyes, nostrils and mouth.
Step 3: Have a seat. Watch a tv show (comedies should probably be avoided).
Step 4: When your face feels tighter than Joan Rivers
‘ after her latest facelift, rinse.
Your face should now feel like a baby’s behind. I can’t guarantee this stuff will taste good if it gets in your mouth, in fact I can guarantee it won’t. And it won’t smell like honeysuckle and ravioli or whatever the latest scent is. But it’s cheap (especially if you buy the generic stuff), and it works.
Take it from me. And with all the money you’re saving on face masks, more money for pr0n! (Or chocolate chip cookies for your blogger. Just saying!)
Try it! Tell me what you think.
Until then, it was good for me; tell me, was it good for you?