Dear Pr0n Pals:
I’m wondering: is it me? Everyone keeps saying what an amazing style icon our First Lady, Michelle Obama, is/going to be. Don’t get me wrong; I think she’s going to be a fantastic First Lady, she’s going to carve out her own path, and I think she has her own style…I’m just not sure it’s a good one, pumpkins.
The Obamas hosted their first formal dinner this past Sunday – the same night as the Oscars. So of course everyone is kvelling over how good Michelle looked, how amazing her Peter Sorenson dress was, and I feel like the odd fashionista out! I want to like what she’s wearing, but I don’t.
Let’s look at Exhibit A. I’ll give her a pass for having “Tall Girl Syndrome” and slouching, though it’s unfortunate. Pr0nMom always says to stand up straight, and it’s annoying, but she’s right.
I like the idea of the dress. I like how it moves and I like how it reminds me of the night sky. That’s about all I like about Mrs. Obama’s dress.
The pearls are just overdone. They’re too heavy for that dress, and they don’t make sense with a glittery dress like that. Glitter begets glitter. I’m talking about diamonds, pr0n friends. Or at least white gold or platinum. Hmf.
The top is just strange. Is it knit? Is it jersey? Is it meant to do that to her boobs? Honestly it reminds me of when I try on strapless dresses at J. Crew – there’s no boning or support so you’re just left…hanging. So to speak. *cough*
Her dress looks very unfinished on top; it should be a few inches lower at least, and am I imagining things or does it curve down slightly in front? It’s very unflattering to her armpits.
The waistline on Michelle’s dress makes me feel the same way. There’s just something odd about it that I can’t put my finger on. It makes her look very hippy and wide, which she isn’t; it’s just draping in a very unfortunate way. Maybe the whole thing just needs more structure. I don’t know. :\
Here she is on the cover of Vogue, with a picture taken by the normally amazing, and very famous Annie Leibovitz. *pauses* I’ve seen people look more uncomfortable, but generally they’re at the dentist.
Apparently the dress is by Jason Wu, the designer who did her ballgown, which I showed you in Inaugural Pr0n. Honestly, it’s kind of hard to see the dress. My major beef is with the color; there’s too much pink in it, and it’s too bright. She shouldn’t be wearing true jewel tones.
This is not a true jewel tone. It’s somewhere between a turqoise and an aqua. Look how warm her skin looks. This red dress certainly isn’t a jewel tone; it’s almost a maroon, or a brick red. Finally here she is in navy. The dress is bit blah, but a good color for her. You have no idea how frustrating this is. I’m a little too invested, aren’t I? I care, people. I care!
Here she is on Inauguration Day, I think. This is another Maria Pinto. Step away from the Maria Pinto, Michelle. Put your hands down, step back and nobody will have a bad fashion day.
I’ll make this short and sweet: lower the waist, raise the hemline and open up the neck. You’re being out-dressed by Laura Bush? Oh, the humanity.
Mrs. Obama is being compared stylistically to Mrs. Kennedy (Jackie). In that they’re both classic dressers, yes. But Jackie knew her way around a dress; I’m just saying.
Look at this: top to bottom perfection. Pearls: of the appropriate size for the occasion and outfit; neckline appropriate for her facial shape and sets off the pearls; sleeves: just right; color: the right shade of peach; waistline: proportional, at her natural waist.
Also note the over-skirt. She was petite so she could get away with adding bulk right there. You can’t see it, but the dress stopped at the knee. That right there is color, fit and proportion. That’s First Lady Pr0n.
Michelle, if you read this, I’m a fan; don’t misunderstand me. But this has to stop. And this fawning but the fashion media? Don’t be a bunch of enablers, people! If you care for the woman’s fashion future, you have to be honest. You have to tell her what works and what doesn’t and why.
…or maybe it’s me?
As always, it was good for me. Tell me, was it good for you?