Thanks for coming back my pr0n muffins. I’m dying of the flu and wanted to make sure I showed you these sales before I did. If I trail off mid-outfit, just administer apple juice.
I once read that everybody loves a parade; I’m not sure how they reached that conclusion. Frankly I’d like to see their research methodology,
but my point being that everybody likes a sale. Feel free to insert the comment of your choice about the recession here. Kind of like those Choose Your Own Adventure Books I used to read.
Remember the Fourth Rule of Shopping Pr0n: Just because something is 75% off, does not mean you need it. It’s very much related to the First Rule. Almost Rule 1a. My father taught me to ask myself this before buying something: Where will I wear it? If you don’t know, no matter how fabulous it is, put it back.
Take for instance this butter yellow cropped leather motorcycle jacket from Domaleather. Let’s look closely: slightly puffed shoulders, stitching detail at the neck and along the zipper, angled front pockets, 3/4 length sleeves with an elastic wrist, and a slim cropped fit.
RevolveClothing is selling this jacket in yellow (sizes M,L) and dark violet (which I might actually like more, size M only). This piece of art was originally $481 and is now $241.
Half off leather. *cries* Someone please buy this and send me a picture so I can pretend I’m you.
Now here’s something you will wear over and over and over: From Thomas Pink‘s “Richard Nicholl’s Collection” is this “Ruth” women’s dress.
This is a 100% cotton shirt dress with trims on cuffs, pockets and hem, a pleated bib (just what you’d think it would be), roll up sleeves, self fabric covered buttons and detachable fabric belt. It looks gray, but it’s actually a black pinstripe.
These are UK sizes, but their handy dandy size chart will conveniently convert you. For future reference they go up to a U.S. size 18, but the highest this dress is in stock is a 16. Why? Well it was first selling for $500 (yes, that’s right) and it’s now $189. At better than half price, remember the Second Rule of Shopping Pr0n: Get it while it lasts. Supplies are limited, first come, first served.
Now, almost all – if not all – of the shoes I’ve shown you here on the Pr0n (as I like to call it) have been heels. Often very high heels. (You know what they say: the higher the heel, the closer to God), but that’s really only because I haven’t found flats pr0nish enough to meet my standards for you, muffins! I care! Look at these and tell me they’re not the cutest things you’ve ever seen (go on – tell me.).
“Foxy Ballerina” from Marc by Marc Jacobs; once these beauties were $425, now they’re $213. And if you had $213, wouldn’t you spend it on these fuchsia (so hard to spell) or charcoal patent leather flats?
But really, really what makes my heart go pitter pat are a pair of drool inducing heels, like these at ShopBop.com. Please ignore the idiotic caption on the website; what you need to know is that these are “Folded Ornament Wedges” from Leopoldo Giordano. If I ever meet Leo, I’d like to hug him. That’s all. Just a hug.
It goes down like this: 4″ patent leather wedges in Blue or Taupe (get the Blue), made in Italy. Marked down from $545, these shoes-of-a-lifetime can be yours for $163.50.
There’s a tab detail at the vamp, and if you look closely you can see a seam detail along the heel. If you go to the website you can look at the shoe from all angles. *giggles* (No, you don’t need to tell me I lack maturity. I know.)
Really good fashion is all about details. Details and quality. Details, quality and fit. Never mind – before this turns into the Spanish Inquisition, let’s look at this zip front skirt by Michen, which has all 3.
Take a beautiful wool/nylon/cashmere pencil skirt with a silk lining, add a waistband with a tortoise shell colored button, a bit of pleating just to kick it up a notch, and a zipper running on the diagonal, and you’ll have this skirt.
If you’re a size 4 or 6, head over to Tobi.com and plunk down your $150 for a half off skirt. This beautiful skirt is made in the U.S.A. used to be $301.
One of the things I love, especially on bigger women, is a beautiful, large print in a bold color. Apparently the stylists at American Idol agreed, because they used this Diva Halter in red from Missphit.
.Admittedly, I find the clothing at Missphit hit or miss, but their hits are bullseyes, and so are their prices. This was originally $45, and it’s now $32.
This chiffon high neck halterneck actually has a full front and back lining so your not showing anything you don’t intend to (*cough*) and a smocked bottom band. It’s sized (and available) 1x-3x, which Missphit says is about a 14w to 24W. Can’t miss.
.There’s another saying (Yes, another saying. Deal.): into every man’s life a little cashmere must fall. That’s right isn’t it? If you or someone you know needs a little cashmere to fall into his life, head on over to Bluefly.com.
Original price: $375, the actual retail price of your showcase sweater is $179.99 for a small, $109.99 for an XL (No clue, don’t ask.)
My friend and reader, Rachel, turned me on to LunaBoston.com, which is filled to the brim with different brands of handbags, shoes and accessories. Bright color is everywhere for spring, and it’s all over Lorelai’s “Madison” tote.
Madison comes in green only, with a bright pink fabric lining. Black and yellow sold out, and green is apparently available only in very limited quantities so don’t hesitate if you love this bag (Damn. I really should be on QVC.)
.Men should not be afraid of a little color either. Take for instance this 1960s blazer from Juicy Couture. Now, can we all agree that this is in fact a nice blazer, and not over the top? Thank you. It’s just that my friend Deka over at That’s Hideous, found these truly atrocious Juicy ski goggles., and felt the need to denigrate Juicy. *snif*. So I felt the need to show her some very subdued Juicy.
I’d be happy to go on a date with any man wearing this blazer. It’s nice, it’s purple and I like purple, it’s stylish and proves he put some thought into his outfit, and it’s Juicy! Someone I’m on a date with wearing Juicy? Bonus! Either he dresses well or knows how to find someone who does, which is equally valid.
Anyway, they’re calling this burgundy, and cotton. It looks like corduroy to me, but it could just be a nubby cotton (yeah, i know corduroy is cotton). It once was $218, and it’s now $163.
Before we wrap up, you must see this organic cotton and bamboo “Alison” dress from Sublet.
One thing you should know about your blogger is that she has ridiculously sensitive skin. I wear very little wool, no angora or lambswool (which I guess is a type of wool). Your dear blogger only wears cotton, silk, cashmere, or soft synthetics. So I’m adoring all the new clothing that’s coming out in organic cotton and bamboo. Bamboo! Who knew?
This dress is just sexy as all get out. It does have a deep v-neck, so if you can’t wear stick-on boobies or similar, put a silk or cotton cami underneath. This is beautiful detailing that is great to expose an upper body and camouflage what’s going on below the waist.
Oh – the site I found it at is The Green Loop.com. They were selling the dress for $242, and it’s now $121 in black. Made in the U.S.A.
It wouldn’t be pr0n without lingerie (plus it gets me site hits). I searched high and low for some lovely cotton lingerie on sale, but it was not to be found. So we’ll skip the sale and go for the comfy and sexy from sheandme.com .
How yummy are these boyshorts that are solid in the front and pattern in the back, with a little lace trim? The solid comes in pomegranete, ivory, mocha, navy, chocolate and sienna. 94% modal, 6% spandex, made in the U.S.A $30
Happy bargain hunting, my little pr0nistas!
As always, it was good for me; tell me: was it good for you?
Next time on ShoppingPr0n (if I survive the flu): More Pr0n Plus – Only the best plus sized pr0n.